I realized last night that when I went from just creating my own beautiful life with intention, and loving my life so much, to trying to teach others to create their own beautiful life with intention and to love their life so much, things got wobbly.
I realized they got wobbly because I entered this arena where I was then looking at and comparing myself to all these other people in that arena, and as soon as I started doing THAT, it majorly started f-ing with my own ability to create and manifest the way I used to.
And the reason for that was so simple, it was that IN that comparison, what I once thought to be amazing and felt really proud of and fulfilled in, suddenly wasn’t enough.
Because it wasn’t as much as this person or that person on social media and what THEY were doing or had done.
That feeling of lack and insufficiency quickly reflected in my experience. It manifested as a feeling (and all the proof to go along with it) that I was not enough.
Suddenly I felt ‘stuck’ in a way I had not ever really felt before.
Before I had been doing my life creation in private, I set my goals and desires that I wanted to experience and nobody would know if I hit them or not but me. There was no pressure, social media was also still fairly new back then and not at all what it has become today, so the day to day comparison of myself to others was not there either.
I managed to be very impressive to myself in my small pond, but when that pond widened, holy crap. Suddenly I was just a fish stick in an ocean of killer whales. 😂🤣🤣
I stopped loving my life then. I stopped being proud of what I’d done and who I was. I started comparing and I started despairing.
Suddenly I was simply not enough. What I had was not enough. What I GAVE was not enough. What I did was not enough. What I received was not enough… and to add to the frustration, this COMPOUNDED because feeling that way of course manifested more results that matched that perspective (more things that matched not feeling like enough).
My failures weren’t something I quietly moved on from in privacy anymore, they were suddenly public and seemed proof positive I wasn’t enough, and the increasing feelings of not-enoughness, led to MORE expectations of failure, which led to more failure!
It was a snowball effect in the worst way and a downward spiral I couldn’t pull out of no matter how I tried or how many tools I employed to try to get back into alignment or positive expectation.
The expectation of failure had its claws in me then, and the harder I tried to “fix it” and “figure it out” and “clear it” – the worse it got (of course! because I was resisting it and pushing against it, trying to overcome it, and was thus totally ‘hooked’ into the drama of it.)
But what I recognize now is that it wasn’t a misstep or a mistake that I went through this! It was taking me, just like everything else in my life, to a place I really needed to go for my ultimate fulfillment and joy in life. It was taking me to a thing I really needed to confront and work out with myself.
Which was my relationship and attachment/aversion to failure, and to success. Sister sides of the same coin. And even more so than that, to a deeper self-love and self-acceptance, so that I could more solidly and securely be myself in the world, come what may.
It was perfect. It was no mistake. I’m so glad it happened. But I won’t say it didn’t suck! It did. lol It was hard. It still is when I am in those spots of tension and am gleaning something new…but I love my life again!
I never really stopped loving it, but I was struggling far more than necessary when I was locked up in comparison and resistance.
I love my beautiful life that I have created and am continually creating with my intentions, and I am able to teach and share that now without comparing myself to others and while being more true to the heart of what I want and what is truly important to me, more and more each day.
To speak my own language in the world with joy and clarity. And to trust that the right people, the ones who were born to hear this message, will.
I can see so clearly now all the miracles and magic that were created during that time of struggle that I wasn’t counting (because I was too busy comparing myself) and it blows my mind. Such magic was happening all the while! So many beautiful things were born and created in my life, even though I was struggling.
And that’s a very helpful belief to cultivate if you don’t already have it! That beautiful things come into your life even when you are struggling. That you are supported and loved and are creating your most beautiful life even when you are in the contrast and in pain. And you always will be.
Perspective is SUCH a powerful thing!
So is LOVE.
Love is the MOST powerful thing.
And bringing love and understanding to yourself exactly as you are and exactly where you are right now, is the FASTEST possible way to easily shift your perspective into abundance. In fact it will happen quite naturally on its own when you bring yourself that love and acceptance first.
I love creating my life on purpose, it is my greatest joy. And I can’t wait to share more of that adventure with you in the weeks, months and years ahead.
And for those of you who’ve been here for awhile and are thinking about working with me but wondering about which would be the best thing for you, here’s a quick breakdown and guide to my work that might be helpful:
• My Feast or Famine No More Course is for when you are still really struggling in your mental energy around your business and finances. You are probably a person who has really mastered using your intuitive and energetic gifts in many other areas of your life, but still struggle to trust yourself or apply that to money and business. This is deep healing, it’s slow drip over a year, do at your own pace, and is designed to address the mental conditioning that is currently keeping you from being more yourself in business, having more money money and thriving on your own terms.
• My Make More, Doing Less, Being You course is a short and sweet 11 days designed to help you to bridge the life that feels the most natural, beautiful and authentic to you with your money and business goals. This course is also for those who are still struggling in the mental energy a lot (i.e. you’re feeling burnt out, you’re in your head a lot, and wish you could get out of your head more). This course will help you get clarity.
• My Deep Rest To Manifest course is an energetic initiation, and is NOT about mental energy at all, it is an activation of your truest core essence, most of the work on you in this container will be happening on an energetic level just by entering the container, and there will not be a lot you are “doing” at all, in fact you will may wonder if it’s doing anything at all. You will notice the manifestations of this course much later on down the line as a turning point in your life as you re-oriented to your depths and the true nature of your soul purpose. This one is made to nourish and fully recognize you and your own joys, so that in time, you will nourish others with great ease. It will seem deceptively simple. It is not. It is powerful medicine, but if you’re coming to ‘learn things’ from mental energy that is not what this is. You’ll be learning only about YOU.
• My Relax Into Receiving Workshop is a deep dive into shame clearing around receiving, and receiving money. It’s not for the faint of heart. It is an activation of freedom from deep societal and cultural conditioning and is designed to set you free into your most authentic self and path. It’s just a one hour watch time, but will be doing its work of energetically untangling knots of conditioning in you for many months after you watch it. It may push buttons if you are very attached to cultural conditioning around money and receiving, so be ready to take that on with courage.
You can find all of these and more about them at sunnichapman.com under the ‘Immersion’ tab in the navigation.
Important note: This work is only for those who understand that you are a creator and that your outer world reflects your inner world, and are willing and ready to take responsibility for that and stake your life on it. This work will not work for you otherwise.
If you’re waiting for the world to validate your choices first, this work is not for you. If you are willing and ready to begin to validate your own choices and watch the powerful life altering affects of that unfold, I’m your girl. 💕