May 15, 2022

Where Do You Go When Things Go Wrong?

Artistic beige watercolor background and text: Where Do You Go When Things Go Wrong?

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The reason I am asking the question in this post title is that often we think we are believing one thing when really we are believing another thing entirely, and working REALLY HARD to cover that up.
For example, I may think that I believe I am worthy of having a more peaceful, joyful, deeply fulfilling, and beautiful life and that all beings have this birthright within them, and I may have no trouble feeling this truth when things are going okay or going right…
But when things go wrong, and things don’t work out as I planned, and people aren’t behaving how I want them to, and all my controls are breaking down—where do I go then?? 
Those are the most powerful moments in truth. Because those are the most revealing moments. They are not revealing the truth of how things are, however. They are revealing the truth of what you BELIEVE about yourself and life.
When things go wrong or don’t work out as planned, the place my mind tends to go is that I am just not good enough, that I don’t belong here, and I never will, and that life is just hard, and then you die. That that is just “how it is,” and I am a crazy idiot for believing in or moving towards anything different, and the current challenges in my life are my punishment for going off the rails from that belief and my “proof” that it doesn’t exist, so I can come back to my OLD version of reality.
But I notice people have different realities. I notice that there are people who live deeply fulfilling lives doing what their hearts and souls called them to do in this life, to great success. I notice that their lives, while full of human challenges just like mine, are also rich with the sweetness of bringing their dreams to fruition.
And I notice I have done that with my own life, to my current degree. And I am just on my way to creating new degrees of it.
So that reality that my mind goes to… the one where I am not worthy, don’t belong, and life is just hard, and then you die… isn’t “reality” at all. It’s just one I’ve made real for me by my agreement with it.
It is revealing what I REALLY still believe—versus what I am TRYING to believe—and it is a friend in that! Because it is like a divine hand pointing and saying, “here, right here… here’s where the pain is. here’s what needs healing.”
But the thing that always tripped me up about that was, “Okay, yeah, I know that’s what the pain is. I didn’t know before, but now I know, and I’ve known for a long time, and it’s still here, so how the heck do I get rid of it!?”
And the honest answer that I receive now is: you don’t.
You don’t have to get rid of it. You don’t even have to know how to heal it. You have already begun to heal it JUST by being AWARE of it.
My next step is asking for help. And then making a conscious effort to relax enough to receive it. I receive it by LISTENING and paying attention to what lights up in my experience then. Maybe it’s a book, or a course, or a mentor, or a healer, or a line in a movie or song, or just a sudden AHA moment, insight, download, or any number of things.
And in the meantime, I just give that old story and the pain that is around it as much love as I can muster. Because that’s all it really needs.
Love is the most powerful force in the universe. It transcends all time and space. It transcends all physical matter. Love is what created this all and what connects us all, and we are never apart from that essence, even when it seems that way.
My mind and ego never think it’s enough to just let painful things BE and give them love. It always wants to get rid of them and eradicate them from my life. But my heart knows I didn’t come here to “ERADICATE” anything, much less painful centuries-old beliefs.
I came here to create, grow and nurture new realities into being on this physical plane. All creatures have different primary directives, but my primary directive is love.
When I am aligned with that, I feel most at home in myself. So I continue to follow it, come what may.
So where do you go when things go wrong, my dear? What is the narrative that YOU are wrestling with and sometimes return to? Write it down and see if you can get some clarity on it. What does the mind say when things fall apart? What does it feel like “proof” of?
Then, once you have that, if you want to and choose to of your own free will, put your hand over your heart and repeat after me: “I now choose to re-write this story and narrative that I have believed all my life, no matter how true it may have seemed. I choose to create the new in myself and this world, no matter what it takes. I ask for all manner of help, guidance, and assistance with this healing, for myself, and for all beings.” So it is. 💗💕
You weren’t born to repeat the same old patterns and die, beloved. You were born to be part of our human evolution and unfold eternally in the great wide open.
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