Women have been taught that our dreams and desires for more is DANGEROUS. Not “risky”, not “questionable”, but DANGEROUS.
I am not trying to exclude people of all genders, but there is a specific history here that I am referring to, that still runs through our body and nervous system to this day.
This story is as old as time. It’s biblical. It’s historical. It’s witch trials. Just flip on the TV, you’ll find it there too. Re-enacted and ingested for entertainment. Women testing the limits of their freedom, trying to reclaim their lives and right to the pursuit of their own happiness… and then experiencing the extreme backlash of that from verbal abuse and attack all the way to literally being physically hurt or even killed by the people who were supposed to love them.
But we are so desensitized to this and so used to it, that most of us don’t know we carry this belief at all. This belief that having our dreams, and doing our life differently, and wanting what we want, is actually dangerous. Many of us modern women walk around thinking we’re pretty free… and independent… and empowered… but we’re not.
I mean we ARE. We so ARE, but most of us don’t really KNOW WE ARE.
I see this when I see absolutely BRILLIANT, amazing, empowered and incredibly talented women who know what they want but then abandon their vision for someone else’s truth instead of their own. Women who by all accounts “know better”. And I see it in them, because I’m one of them.
We don’t trust ourselves. And why would we?? We’ve been trained NOT to trust ourselves. We’ve been trained not to trust our own wanting, and even worse, to ignore our own KNOWING.
So how do we reclaim this trust? Well… by first seeing the very small and seemingly innocuous ways that we give it away everyday. This isn’t about a grand stand, that stuff is easy to see, this is about the thousand cuts that we unwittingly inflict upon ourselves over time.
And since my lane is business and money mindset and creating a life on your terms, let’s take a look at how this fear shows up in your business:
1.You know exactly what you want to do next, and what would feel better to you, but you don’t do it. You argue with yourself about it. You talk yourself out of it. You stick with what feels more safe, even though it’s choking the life out of you.
2.You put your energy into something that’s more frustrating or exhausting instead because it’s a pattern of “earning your worth” that you are so used to that, you can’t seem to break, or you don’t even see you’re doing it.
3.You know exactly how much money you need, or how much you WANT to live your best life, but then you tell yourself you don’t really need that, and you’re just being selfish or unrealistic. Or that it will cause harm instead of be a force of GOOD in the world like you know you want it to be.
4.An expert is telling you that you “have to” do your business or your marketing or your model this way or that way, and you listen to them even though it feels like total shit to you.
5.You want and need to charge X amount of dollars, but instead you charge what other people are charging because “who do you think you are?”
6.You have a big juicy super luscious vision of your future, but you keep cutting it back and telling yourself you should just be grateful for what you have, and you don’t really need or want that.
Is this sounding familiar??
You’re not alone! But change begins with awareness of the pattern. And how might your life and business and flow of money change if you zeroed in on this pattern and disrupted it?
Your body still FEELS that this threat is real, and it will send signals to your nervous system that your life might actually be in real DANGER for doing something like choosing to follow your vision!
It makes no sense to your logical brain, in your logical brain you KNOW you’re probably safe to do so, you KNOW you have supportive people in your world and/or can probably find them, but your subconscious mind and nervous system does NOT know.
But you can let your body and subconscious know that it’s safe to move ahead by combining mindset work with body work. I personally like and have greatly benefited from the practice of EFT tapping, deep breathing, meditation, meditative walking, swimming, massage, or literally just shaking it out. But there are sooo many other modalities you can look into.
It’s so important to bridge the body and mind in this work so that you don’t have your head saying one thing, and your energy body saying “no fuckin’ way”.
As you do this you will notice that you’re emboldened to take steps you weren’t previously willing to take, and that when you do, and you survive it, you build trust with yourself and you take the NEXT step towards your dreams a little easier.
And if you want my help in making your dreams come true, then I invite you to check out my Feast or Famine No More Course & Membership – it will help you reclaim the life and business you desire, and to feel much more safe to actually do so!
See you there,
xo Sunni
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