xo,
Sunni
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I’ve been doing a lot of healing lately around my relationship to change and it occurred to me to write and ask you what your relationship to change is?
This is an incredibly profound question, because your relationship to change will define your entire experience of life.
I had a moment the other day when I realized, in a much clearer way, that the heart of my Feast or Famine No More Course work is helping put myself and others in touch with the place of deep stability, trust, peace, ease and abundance that lives within us all, so that we may embrace the constant of change and call on a more deeply rooted sense of safety and security that will hold us across any sea we wish to travel, and to any distant shore.
This work, for me, has been partly about realizing that my relationship to change and growth, was that I thought it always had to mean huge breakdown, loss, trauma and drama, or at the very least a long hard painful road ahead.
Our relationship to change tends to stem from our earliest experiences of major change, and how that went. A pattern which we unconsciously repeat simply because we don’t know we have any other option.
But we do. Patterns are just patterns—they can change. And all you have to do to change them is become aware of them. As that awareness grows, so does the space between you and the pattern, until one day you look up, and you’re no longer one in the same.
So what is your relationship to change? What big change or changes in your early life do you think that expectation came from? Are you willing for that to change now? Do you want that?
What would it look like for you to feel held, deeply supported, and safethrough times of change? What would it take for change to feel more kind and gentle? What would it take for it to be (dare I even suggest it?!) joyful at times, in the process?
For me that answer was an immediate: “a deep and abiding trust in myself and life.” That’s what it would take for me to have that new experience of change. And so my work immediately became about doing things that grow and nourish that trust.
What answer comes up when you ask yourself these questions? Your answers may be very different, but find out what they are. They will guide you. They will more than guide you. They will change your life.
Every year since I started this journey, my relationship with change has shifted dramatically, but also gently… like tiny incremental adjustments that keep compounding on top of eachother and multiplying exponentially.
So instead of receiving things “in the nick of time”, I receive them in plenty ahead of time. Instead of having to fight to be supported, support comes in before I even ask. Instead of waiting for love and approval to be given, I give it to myself, and then watch as that mirrors back around me. It’s honestly shocking how much this has shifted. I have felt a deeper love and peace in me than I ever thought was possible.
But it wasn’t a leap or a light switch flipped, it was a slow and steady commitment to that vision, and to showing up with love to every painful or challenging thing that came up with great faith and trust despite all uncertainty. And it still is.
For me it’s been small consistent steps in my own direction that have done the most miraculous things. And I keep being surprised and delighted by those discoveries, every single day.
Don’t let this shouting, screaming, hurried culture convince you that in order for change to be big and meaningful that it has to be done with stress and urgency. You can be met in your needs every step of the way. And you can take those steps with deep peace in your heart and soul.
Just tune that dial a little bit at a time, and soon enough… you’ll be hearing new music. And as always, if you’d like some help with that… you know where to find me »
