How many times have you been watching a successful teacher or mentor talk about inner peace, ease, success, or feeling of abundance and thought to yourself…
“Easy for THEM to say!”
Don’t worry, if you’ve thought this you’re in good company. Almost everyone has this internal voice, and we have it because we picked it up from our environment. We’ve heard people say that, and so that’s what we say. It seems rational and reasonable enough right?
I, personally, have to laugh at myself when my mind says this. It rarely does anymore but it used to say it ALL. THE. TIME. It would pop up all huffy as I watched the people I admired looking peaceful and at ease and it would say something like:
“They’re just lucky. They were born that way, or given some leg up I wasn’t given—or they’re just faking it! It’s easy for them to be at ease and at peace because they’re super-rich and successful and totally taken care of for life!! So of COURSE they can talk about peace and joy like it’s easy! That is NOT the case for the rest of us!”
What I see now is that that inner voice was simply an attempt to totally blow off everything that was said or shared by the person, because what that voice was REALLY saying underneath all that was:
“This thing you are seeing and wanting right now… it’s not possible for you. For them, yes, but not for you. This will never change for you. This doesn’t change for people like us. Don’t get your hopes up. Peace and joy and ease is not available to you. And it won’t be available until you have ALL THE THINGS—like them. Until YOU are set for life. Then we’ll talk about ease and peace. But you’ll never have those things, so just quit deluding yourself.”
It’s a self-defense mechanism, and it’s designed to keep you from pain. But what it really does is keep you from POSSIBILITY.
These days I just have to laugh at that voice though, not to belittle it or the pain that it’s rooted in, but to “bust” its self-protective bubble. Nowadays I see how that voice completely ignores how the person I am watching is ONLY living that reality of ease and peace now because they were willing to live it and embody it when none of that external stuff was true!
They are living that truth now because they made it their mission and reality to do so, even when they were living out of their car, or on park benches, publishing to an audience of 1, and not having a single paying client… they remained committed to their vision.
They walked IT…and eventually… IT walked them.
They embodied their truth until it BECAME their truth. And no, that wasn’t easy for them… because they’re human too! Full of the same doubts and insecurities and “are you nuts for doing this?” questions that all of us are.
So when my mind spouts off about how it’s easy for them to say, I remind myself that it is easy for ME TO SAY, when I have not walked a minute in their shoes. Easy for ME to say, snickering from the sidelines without putting MYSELF on the line for my beliefs like they are. I remind myself I do not know the years they spent LIVING their inner truth before it manifested outside of them. Much less the courage it took to even commit to that truth at all. I remind myself that that is nothing but my fearful mind’s excuse not to try, and give it my whole heart. And I know all that, because I walk that path too, and I know damn well what it looks like in the trenches.
LISTEN… I am most certainly not saying that things are not easier for some people than other people, in a multitude of ways, of COURSE they are! I am ONLY saying that I personally do not give that credence as a reason not to try for the things I want to feel and experience in my life.
Because I notice that there are people who have had things way HARDER than me and there are people who have had things way EASIER than me, and there are plenty of examples in both cases of those who’ve made their truth their reality, just the same. Despite all odds and evidence to the contrary.
We all have a different path to walk in our lives, every living soul has its own set of obstacles to overcome… and those paths and obstacles are as many and varied as grains of sand in the sea…
but nobody gets to tell you what is possible for you, but YOU. Nobody gets to decide what you need and are allowed to have, but YOU. And nobody can decide to walk that path to finding that out for you, but YOU.
I was watching Mandolorian the other night and there was this part where an evil Imperial Captain was talking about the Empire’s power over people, and he said with a slithering grin, “… people think they want freedom, but what they really want is order. And once they realize that, they’ll welcome us back with open arms.“
I got shivers through my body when he said it because it’s true. When we are living in fear, we choose order over freedom, because at least order has the answers and certainty we crave.
Freedom is wide open, and as such is uncertain, and it takes an entirely different level of courage to step out of the confining, but ultimately comforting, lines and rules of life and into that array.
But if we let fear rule us, then we are OWNED, and we do not truly belong to ourselves.
Courage to walk outside the lines is how we create new pathways of being, and trade our certainties-of-future for the certainties of freedom, which includes things like: choice, self-ownership, self-direction, discovery, creation, innovation, intention, evolution, awe, wonder, the magic of the NEW and the deeper love and connection that comes from allowing others the same freedoms you want for yourself.
All this to say, that when we say “easy for them to say“, what we mean is “I’m not that free“, and in that moment of recognition that you have NOT felt that free up until now, you have an opportunity… an opportunity to choose whether you WANT to feel that free.
And if you want my help and ongoing support in doing that, then I invite you to join us in my Feast or Famine No More Course, where we do exactly that every month of the year » Get started today »