xo,
Sunni
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Go with your flow.
Not with THE flow, but with your flow.
I am a big lover of going with the flow, of honoring life’s inherent wisdom and timing, and with taking the path of least resistance. But even though I KNOW the power of this way of living (from experience), and LOVE the feeling of this when I do it… actually doing it consistently is a whole other matter.
One of the reasons for that is that I (like most people in this society) was trained to try to master, control and be-on-top of all things at all times, to know all the answers, to have it all figured out, and to not let anyone see my weaknesses or my flaws.
That training was essentially to be perfect. A perfect performance machine. This was not limited to work, looks or body either. I was also to be a perfectly woke, self-aware, awake, empowered personal growth performance machine as well.
I was to tick all the boxes off all my issues and relegate them to the “been there, done that, over that” bin.
But alas… I am none of that.
I make mistakes, I fail, I have blind spots, I have needs and weaknesses, I still struggle with loads of stuff all the time, and I am in a growth spiral that never ends and never will.
So I am un-training myself from those trainings every day, in big and small ways. And I love helping other people un-train from that too, and touch into the NATURAL place of joy and ease and self-trust that lives within us all, at all times, no matter how deeply it may seem buried.
But the real reason it seems harder to go with the flow in practice than in theory is because we’ve been trained to go with other people’s flow instead of with our own flow WITH and AS life itself.
When you were young, going with the flow probably meant going along with what other people wanted you to do or be, not going with the flow of LIFE and where its current wanted to take you…
so of COURSE you don’t trust it now.
But that was not YOUR flow, nor was it life’s flow, it was simply how you were UNDERSTANDING the flow of life at that time. You understood that when you did what people wanted, or what pleased them, things seemed to flow better for a time, even if it hurt YOU in the long run. And slowly over time you forgot how to know what your flow (AS life!) really is, and you forgot your power to follow it.
Here’s the truth about all this though: most people don’t really want to know what their flow is.
They resist it like hell (I certainly did, and still often do!), and that is because once you see what it is you have to sit with the “Well how the F*%# am I going to do that????!!! I can’t possibly, there’s no freaking way, I don’t deserve it, that’s not done, people like me never…” feelings, and that’s the hard bit.
But once you DO get in touch with that flow, and you take small steps in that direction DESPITE the screaming resistance that wants you to go AGAINST your flow like you always have, you start to shift that river in the direction it was always meant to go.
And as you do so, it picks up power and momentum along the way, and before you know it your whole life has changed and you are sitting there wondering how in the hell that happened, and so damn grateful for every step in your own direction you dared to take.
Small Case in point:
This week I planned our next RV trip – if you’re new around here, me and my husband and our fur babies Haddie and June do these semi-regularly and it’s one of my most favorite things – freedom is PARAMOUNT to me and to my flow, and it is part of how I design my business and life.
Quality of life and time off with my loves and with nature’s healing and nurturing presence is part of my business plan. It’s not factored in as time away from my business, it’s PART OF IT. I cannot be who I am and bring what I bring to clients or to the world without it.
This is different things for different people, for me it’s this time and these kind of trips. It’s the life blood for me. What is it for you? What helps you be what you are and do what you do?
Because without those things, our work is not the same, it’s like expecting to milk a cow that’s not been given water. You might get a little milk, but it’s gonna be sour and lacking in nourishment.
First you get the nourishment. Then you pass it on. That is how nature works. A flower cannot pollinate if it dies, or doesn’t bloom. So you have to find out what nourishes YOU. And you have to start letting that PAY YOU.
And that is hard. It’s hard because we are SO used to letting things that hurt pay us. Things that don’t feel at all like our flow pay us. Things that feel like sacrifice and suffering pay us. And that is simply because: that is what we’ve been taught to expect.
No more. No less. Just what we’ve been taught to expect. And so we subconsciously create and re-create that pattern, because we think we absolutely HAVE TO. And we think if we can’t flip a switch this INSTANT and change it all with 100% PROOF it can be done, then it’s not even worth trying for. And that is where it ends for most people.
But not for you. Not for YOU. Because YOU are still here reading this. Which means YOU have not given up on your dreams. 😉 GOOD. And don’t you ever do it.
So anyway, back to my story… I was planning our trip, and how I like to plan them is to have one kind of “pinnacle” place and experience we are aiming for, and then plan the whole rest of the trip to and from, around that.
We have a beautiful really nice absolutely lovely new RV, and last year was the very first year I added in one few day stop at a beautiful lodge & hotel as part of our trip, and this year I added two! 😱😆💖
We used to tent camp before the RV, and that was a big ole’ mindset trip I had to grow into on its own (you’re not a real nature girl! you sell out! you fluff! ugh who are you!! you’re turning into one of THOSE people) 😆😂 So that was it’s own dragon to slay, but this was a whole new level.
So this year (and last year) when I booked these stays in addition to our regular beautiful camp spots I had ALL the old voices of resistance come up, and this is what they sounded like:
“You can’t do that!!? You have a perfectly nice brand new comfy cozy upscale room sitting in your RV in the parking lot for those nights! What a waste! You could save that money! How stupid!! You don’t need to be spending all this money to stop and get an ocean front spa-tub luxury experience TOO, this is camping! That’s the whole point! You spoiled ass-hole!! People will hate you! Aren’t you special?! Who do you think you are!? Must be nice!? Just make that a different trip! You don’t need that. How ridiculous you hoity-toity brat. It’s ridiculous, you should just do the hotel trip or do the road trip?! You can’t do that, and you shouldn’t!“
In the past I would have just listened to that voice and not done it. I would have been shamed out of doing what I naturally wanted to do. But this time I just said calmly in response…
“why not?? why can’t I do it my way? I don’t want to do one or the other, I want to do BOTH. I love BOTH. This is MY trip, this is OUR time, and we get to do it the way we want to. I am planning my trip according to what feels good to me, to what I love, and to what nourishes my spirit, not according to what would be the most practical or efficient. There’s nothing wrong with that but it’s not how I’m designing my life personally, so thanks for your input, but no thanks. I get to do this according to my own flow of what feels good to me.”
And guess what happened?? I went ahead and booked both places, even though it’s a stretch, even though it’s a long trip away and a long time away from my business, I trusted that the way would be shown. And that SAME DAY I received not 1 but 2 perfect-fit new assistants, that had every skill set I needed (and couldn’t imagine could even exist in one person let alone two!!) for my business, so I can do that with even greater ease than before.
I had been hemming and hawing about getting myself new help for over a year now, there had been some major switcheroo’s during the pandemic and I was feeling hesitant to say the least, so this was absolute confirmation that because I had chosen what I want for my life and moved ahead anyway, instead of waiting, and despite all my fears and doubts about that, an abundance of support showed up to help me do just that and way beyond.
But the best part is… it doesn’t even matter if it doesn’t work out. And that is the best feeling. Because whatever happens, I know I will be held and I will be supported by life EVEN WHEN I DON’T KNOW. 😂😆
I know that because even when things have gone terribly wrong THAT was the flow of life’s love and support too. I just didn’t know it or see how until much later.
There was just more healing I had to do. More releasing of more old stories, so I could continue to find and embrace the natural joy and ease at my center, and to live more and more in that truth.
I want that for ALL OF US. And I’m here for it.
If you’d like some help finding and attuning to YOUR flow and inviting more abundance into your life along the way, you can either:
• Buy my new book Rich In Love which is out for pre-order now and releasing on 02.22.22!
• OR sign up for my new free Mini-Course: Make More Doing Less Being YOU, which is free for a limited time during my book launch (a $298 value)
• OR join us in my Feast or Famine No More Course » where we do this work together at a nice easy pace all year.
