Pushed People Push People

 

These days (and in all the days of the past) marketers and those who teach marketing will tell you that to sell people things you have to “convince them” of the value, you need to “convert them”, you need to tell them why they need something or why they should want something, which are all just a bunch of fancy terms for: convince or prove yourself or your product.

 

 

And that is one way to go, but it’s not the way I have chosen to go. And if you’re here, probably not so much for you either. 

 

 

I don’t “push” people to buy my work.  Not in my copy or in any other way. I don’t explain why you need that. I just explain what it is. And what it is TO ME. Why I am excited about it and what it has done for me. I invite. I take the position that my work is highly valuable, and that that value is already evident to the *people who are right for it*. Because it’s certainly NOT valuable to everyone, but to the resonant souls that are made just for me… they see it, and they instantly know it.

 

 

 

 

They do not need to be convinced. The rest of what they go through is a process of their own about whether they want to buy the thing or not, and that can be for all kinds of various reasons of their own, but all of those reasons are their business, not mine. And their decision to come to on their own time, not mine.

 

 

I imagine that ‘my people’ (the ones who are made to interact with my work) are like me, they are self led, they know what they want and what they don’t, they trust themselves, and they’re not afraid to try things they’d like to try, no matter the outcome. OR if they are afraid, their curiosity and desire to find out is stronger than the fear, that’s how I am too, so they move anyway towards what they are wanting.

 

 

But business people and marketers are always telling you to ‘convince’ and ‘convert’ and basically PROVE YOURSELF to people… because it WORKS! 😂 😅  It works to push people into stuff! Our whole world does that! All the time! 

 

 

Pushing ourselves and eachother around is “normal” behavior in this world. But I am opting out of that. I thought I did a long time ago, but then I noticed I was still pushing MYSELF around in sneaky little ways.  And I still have to watch it because we are absolutely STEWING in a culture of “push” at all times.  So a long time ago I decided I wasn’t doing it that way in my business, and I did that successfully. It worked WAY better than pushing EVER did.

 

 

I did this because I realized if I ‘push people’ into something by trying to “convince” them of the value or “overcome their objections” (which is another thing marketers tell you to do!) so they’ll be pushed into this decision… then I would have “pushed people” in my energy field and my world, and I have zero interest in that.

 

 

 

 

And I have definitely tasted that in my business journey… and I didn’t care for the flavor! 😂 You know, where you convince someone who is on the fence and then you really wish you hadn’t later on down the line.  lol  And when I did that I had no one to blame but myself, because I attempted to take on someone who did not come to THEIR OWN empowered decision, and in doing so on an unconscious level I agreed to take on their fears and hesitations FOR them and those things were NEVER MINE to take on. Those were things that that person can only work through themselves. They are the only one who can make those choices for themselves, That is their empowered choice to make.

 

 

So I don’t push me anymore, and I don’t push others. I don’t overcome objections. Those objections are theirs to wrestle with and overcome. I just invite. I am happy to answer questions of course but I don’t need to explain the value, I feel that the value is obvious to the people who are meant for it, and so I just invite from my own excitement about the work, and that way I get “excited about the work” people in my field. No pushing needed.

 

 

But if I push MYSELF into getting results faster better NOW, I will push others too, no matter how hard I try not to, and no matter how kind and compassionate and loving I think I am. It’s going to leak out. Why wouldn’t it? When I just pushed myself. What we do to ourselves gets done to others, whether we want it to or not. It just happens in more UNCONSCIOUS ways then.

 

 

 

 

But like I said, if you do that, if you try to push or pull someone over the fence to buy things or sign up or whatever –  to “convince” them, you are basically AGREEING to take on their hesitance and fear for them, you’re agreeing to take that into your field and to prove yourself. And you do NOT want to have to do that! I do not want that for you, I do not want that for me, I do not want that for us as humankind.

 

 

People are powerful autonomous beings who make their own empowered choices. That is their responsibility, my responsibility is the invitation. That’s it. My responsibility is to show up with the work that I’ve said that I have. That’s it.

 

 

I will not be proving anything to anyone like those marketers tell me to because I only want people saying yes if it is their OWN real and true YES. Their own choice, and their own full YES, one that they are excited about it! Because they have already decided they’re getting something good out of this. They’ve made up their mind about that.

 

 

But when you don’t do that, you get people who are like super reserved and saying to themselves “I don’t know if this is good…” and they’re like giving you the side eye the whole time with this energy of “prove it” aimed at you, and then you have to dance like a circus bear to prove it.

 

 

 

 

When that happened in the past it was my fault because I listened to others who said you have to tell them why you’re worth it and you have to dance like the dancing bear – and that was ALWAYS my  mistake every time. That might work for others, in fact I see it works fine for some others, but it completely blows up in my face if I even THINK about doing that 😂 

 

 

If I have to justify my value or the value of my work to someone in any way, it is NOT going to be a fun experience.  And it will be my own fault because I was the one who agreed that I would overcome their fears and doubts and “prove it”. And it was more than I could do. Those were THEIR fears and doubts, they were never mine to overcome. So that is exactly what that feels like, it feels like “proving it”, which HURTS and is no fun at all. If you’ve ever been in a relationship of any kind where you felt like you had to prove yourself all the time, you know that it’s no fun and it hurts.

 

 

Whereas if I hadn’t have tried to push them past that, or overcome their objections in any way, or “convince them” of my value, then I would have said with my energy: “I am not available for taking on your objections, that is your decision to come to. Here’s the information, your decision is your own. This is either something you want or not, something you perceive as valuable or not, and that’s for you to decide, I’m happy to answer any questions but beyond that that is your decision”,  then they would have made their own choice, and maybe said NO, and then that would have been a VERY GOOD THING that made space for people who don’t need convincing, or coercion of any kind and they ere just like “YES! sign me up! YES, this speaks straight to my soul. YES, when do we start? YES, I can’t wait! YES, I can’t wait to get this!” 

 

 

And THOSE are the kinds of client relationships you want, whether you sell products or services or art or anything else, people who are EXCITED about your work, people who decided for themselves that they are EXCITED about your work, people who make their own decisions and take responsibility for them. Not people who need to be dragged. You do not want that, that feels horrible inside. You want people who do not need you to dance like a dancing bear, and you become a match to them when you stop being a dancing bear. You just stop being one. And on the plus side, not making yourself be a dancing bear is contagious. It helps other people see they don’t have to do that either.

 

 

And again, don’t be mad at you if you have done this, we’ve all done it in one way or the other, either in personal relationships or in business, we’ve done it in a thousand ways because again we are STEWING in this in our culture, but if you’re sick of it, and you want to just invite people to your work who feel excited about your work and have made and own their own sovereign decisions, then just decide that you’re not going to be a dancing bear, and embody the part of yourself who knows and owns the value of your work, and your LIFE, and your QUALITY OF LIFE, and your quality of PEACE, which means not having to be a dancing bear. 😂

 

 

And if you need help with that I suggest My Work Sells Itself Course, that is the best place for helping you embody the value of your work so you don’t have to be a dancing bear. So you can dance in your own way and according to your own rhythms, and find the people who LOVE you just for you. ❤️

 

 

P.S. This is NOT to make pushing, convincing or converting wrong, NATURE pushes! Nature convinces and converts all the time, you can see it all plant and animal behavior. It is not WRONG, it is just one option, and it’s one option that I do not personally enjoy, so I have – to the best of my ability – chosen another option for myself since the birth of my business 25 years ago. Occasionally I get sucked into thinking I have to do it another way, but I always end up right back here where I started. Because it’s just the right choice for ME. And maybe it is for you too. But as always, that is for you to decide. 💞