xo,
Sunni
Want to listen to this instead? Read or listen below…
The way of grace is a mysterious thing. It is different things at different times for different people.
But I have come to realize that the way of grace for me to enact in my OWN life with purpose and intention, is the way that honors all things, as and where they are in this moment.
That doesn’t mean that things don’t change or don’t need to change—everything is constantly changing at all times. We couldn’t stop that if we wanted to.
But grace comes most easily when we are present, accepting (whether we like what’s showing up or not), and OPEN in the here and now.
Grace comes out of unconditional love.
So if we want to tap into it at any time, we can do so by purposefully and intentionally entering into that space of unconditional love.
Unconditional love for yourself, and for the present moment.
But even if we don’t do that, grace will still swoop into our lives from time to time, in a totally unpredictable way, and sweep us off our feet. But we can choose to live more in that flow than out of it by entering that space of presence and love.
It’s not easy to do sometimes! And in this world today, a LOT of times. 😉 Because the way of the world now is to push and pull by way of force. To enact change from a place of rejection and refusal to love. And to enact change from a place of “not enough.”
This shows up in countless ways, but I want to share one very small example of this I experienced a few months ago.
The reason I share it is because sometimes the way that this shows up is very subtle and not at first obvious until you really develop your inner compass to be geared toward unconditional love.
There is a lot of personal development stuff out there masquerading as unconditional love and self-honoring; that is absolutely not.
Several months back, I entered a women’s business Facebook group that was part of a program that I was taking, and the women were all encouraged to make a post introducing themselves and their business and sharing their struggles and the reason they were there…
Which is all well and good, up until the point where it was suggested that if you did NOT post up this introduction in a group of complete internet strangers with your business and personal deets that you were “hiding and self-sabotaging” and would therefore probably never really live up to your potential and truly succeed.
So, you know… no pressure or anything. lol 😂😜
I hemmed and hawed about this for a good long while. I mean, I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot or fail to live up to my potential and succeed as much as the next guy, but I wasn’t sure about this group or the leader of it yet, to be honest, and I was still feeling things out.
I like to observe and assess to see how things feel to me. Also, this is precisely why I created my Feast or Famine No More Course and other programs the way that I created them (no requirements like that, totally anonymous Q&A, etc.) …
Because you shouldn’t HAVE TO go into a group of total strangers who are also in similar fields and in business for themselves, having no face to face trust repertoire, and the wide gap of internet distance (which makes it easier for people to act out of integrity), and no idea who those people are, or how they operate in their lives and share your business details and personal details. No NDA’s have been signed, and no privacy waivers, all on a social media platform.
So was I “hiding” and “self-sabotaging” by not doing it? Was I ruining my chances of greater success? Or was I actually being wise and discerning?
There is, of course, no ONE right answer.
For one person, that might feel absolutely right and good to them, and I applaud that. For another person, it might not feel right, and I applaud them too. But one thing I am NEVER gonna do is tell people that if they don’t do something, they are doomed to failure, not living up to their potential in some way, or are just “behind” other people that ARE doing great.
Because THAT is the old way of push, manipulation, force, and coercion, not unconditional love and invitation.
It WAS an invitation. It SEEMED innocent enough… but whenever you add a layer of shame or guilt on top of it, or an “if you don’t do this then…” that is not the way of love. That is not the way of grace.
The way of grace HONORS all things as and where they are. It invites, but it does not threaten, shame, or condescend.
Sometimes you will see people say, “that’s okay, you’re just not there yet” (i.e., willing to follow their rules of success). It’s pretending to be compassion, but it’s not. It is thinly veiled condescension and shaming. It is not honoring of each person’s truth or reality.
Once I realized this, I stopped feeling conflicted. I was being wise and discerning. I was honoring myself and what felt right to me. I was not letting someone else tell me what the rules for being successful are, and I was not self-sabotaging anything.
In fact, it would have been self-sabotaging for me to go against what my intuition was telling me and let myself be pressured into doing so out of fear that I’d be unsuccessful in some way if I didn’t, or the need to fit in.
I am visible in my own ways and on my own terms in my business. I am exactly as visible as I choose to be in any given moment. And I don’t push myself beyond what feels right to me out of a feeling that I am not enough anymore. I invite myself to do new things and to try new things from a place of LOVE for EXACTLY where I am and exactly as I am NOW, and when I do that, I naturally find the right ways for me to be me and do my business in the way that works best for me.
But if I try to force myself to “get out there” from a place of “you’re going to miss your boat!” then I’m just dancing like a puppet to my deeper fears. Motivated by fear, instead of love.
Whereas if I am loved as I am, then I may feel that nothing is wrong with me at all, and I will naturally do all that I’m called to do from a place of joy and self-acceptance. I will create from who I AM instead of who I’m “supposed to be.”
Confidence comes in many colors.
It depends on what you’re putting your confidence IN. Your looks? Your success? Your potential? Or the truth of you here and now? Or your faith? Your center? Your god? Where do you place your confidence? What do you put your confidence in?
Again, there’s no wrong answer. All is allowed to be.
Perhaps it’s in the process of shifting for you? Perhaps you once placed more of it externally, and now you’re placing it within?
Either way, I invite you to honor where you are right here and right now COMPLETELY. Because that grace will carry you farther than all the pushing and forcing could ever dream.
💗
Need some support? Here’s my current offerings:
👉 🌿 Cultivating Abundance: Read or Listen to my audiobook Rich In Love, 10 Powerful Mindset Shifts to a More Abundant Life in Every Way » https://sunnichapman.com/rich-in-love-book/
👉 🌿 Cultivating Ease & Joy: Join my Deep Rest to Manifest email course for introverts » https://sunnichapman.com/deep-rest-to-manifest/
👉 🌿 Cultivating Clarity on Direction: Join my Make More, Doing Less, Being YOU course » https://sunnichapman.com/make-more-doing-less-being-you/
👉 🌿 Cultivating Stability & Plenty and Committing To Your Dreams: Join my Feast or Famine No More course » https://sunnichapman.com/feast/
