I am a freedom-loving girl. A freedom-loving girl who has become a freedomloving woman. I am turning 42 this month, and I can finally say I am only now entering my full womanhood. And honestly, I’ve barely scratched the surface.
The reason for this is, as any of you who have been in therapy or done personal development work of any kind knows, I froze inside at a certain point in my life. I froze my inner little girl and I only started thawing her out this past decade.
And as I’ve thawed her out, and as she’s come back to life in all her splendor, I am finally freed up to cross over into this woman. Deep as the sea, light as the wave.
That little girl inside was who this woman was always meant to be. Stuff
happened (as it does), and I lost it. Then more stuff happened (as it does), and I found it.
So let me tell you a little bit about who I’ve found.
If you’d have asked me years ago who I was, I would have vehemently denied MOST of the things on this list. I would not have even spoken the words!! That is how much of myself I was disowning.
As I have reclaimed her, and therefore reclaimed all of me, I have reclaimed my power and my ability to create my own life on my terms. And that power has just expanded exponentially the more that I’ve allowed myself to embrace.
So here are 4 things about that girl, because maybe you can relate to one of these:
1. As I said above I am a freedom-loving girl. I don’t do well with schedules or have-to’s, I prize my free time and I don’t like having too much planned. I don’t want to work around the clock, I want to play and explore and travel and sit in my chair and write and create and do what I want when I want.
2. If there is such a thing as a “rich girl at heart”, I’m her. I have always had the uncanny ability to pick the most expensive thing in the store without having any idea what the cost is or caring what the cost is!… I just pick my favorite thing and it just happens to be not on sale, and the priciest thing in the room. Every. Time. I once thought this was a total curse (because we/I couldn’t afford that taste!), I was trained to see this as a curse, I condemned myself for it, at best I made it into a joke, but now I see it is one of my gifts!!
3. I’m a bit of a loner. Introverted to the max, I THRIVE on alone time. Social time fills a different cup for me and I’m grateful for it, but it is also exhausting for me. As a little girl, I would sit in my room with a little tape recorder and record myself singing totally made up songs that were more like just my thoughts sang out loud, or just talking about things and then listening to myself back. I still do this to this day. 😄 Through my IGTV episodes, or just my voice journaling into the voice memo app and listening to myself back, so I can HEAR MYSELF. What this means is I am a strange combination of an introvert and a star. Meaning deep down I suspected I was a star, but on my own terms and in the privacy of my own little world. 😂 What I know now is that I AM a shining star, and certainly not everyone will think so, but it’s still okay for me to shine in my own knowing —AND — to be the star of my own show (my LIFE!) — AND — to create my introvert-friendly stardom (from my quiet cozy chair in my quiet cozy home doing the things that come naturally and easily to me). It’s totally okay, and totally me!
4. I prioritized my happiness. As a very little girl, I prioritized my happiness —meaning I selfishly laid on the couch with a stack of picture books and read and imagined and dreamed up whatever I wanted. Whenever I wanted. I watched The Last Unicorn ten thousand times (it was my story, and I knew it. I am a magical creature who has to pretend like she’s not magic in order to not be hunted down and killed by an oppressive red bull. But then I stop pretending and free myself and the rest of my kind – the other unicorns 😉 ). I rested when I was tired. I ate when I was hungry. I played when I felt like playing. I cried when I felt like crying. I laughed when I felt like laughing. I didn’t follow any rules on what I was allowed and when, because I hadn’t learned the rules yet. I knew my birthright was freedom and ease and pleasure and I TOOK IT, without apology. Unfortunately by the time I was 5 or 6 I was already becoming fully aware that that was NOT ALLOWED, especially not for girls and women. That you cater to other people’s happiness with-you and their feelings, NOT your OWN happiness. Now I know, it IS ALLOWED. And I am doing the work to reprioritize my happiness and put myself back in my #1 spot, and guess what? It’s totally allowed. And guess what? I thought (and still think sometimes) that I am “bad” and “horrible” and “selfish” and am going to be PUNISHED and smited down by a vengeful god at any moment sometimes, but instead… the rewards keep rushing in. This will scare the shit out of you too, it has been the hardest work of my life to re-wire this wiring we take on as women, and it is a life-long continual journey, not a one and done! But it is EVERYTHING. And the more you step into it, the more things just keep getting better. Not just for you but for everyone.
The reason why I’m sharing this is because if you are also a freedom-loving girl inside, and a freedom-loving woman (and I know you are cause you’re reading this) then I want you to hear me when I tell you that my whole life I thought these things were LIABILITIES to my ability to succeed and make a lot of money, I thought I had to TRADE my freedom away for just SURVIVAL.
But the truth that I have discovered is the opposite. The truth is that my freedom-loving nature is not a liability at all, and in fact, it is the KEY to my thriving! Yes, you can trade freedom for survival, absolutely. And I did that for years, and I was depressed, and suppressed, and I felt it in every area of my life.
But when I started re-embracing my love of freedom, and I started embracing my rich-girl-at-heart, and I started embracing my introversion and my inner-stardom and prioritizing my happiness and myself in my own life, my income didn’t go DOWN like I thought it would, it went UP.
WAY UP.
And not only did it go up, but the hustling and grinding went WAY DOWN. There was MORE free time, not less. There was MORE love, not less. There was MORE true belonging and acceptance, not less. And everything still gets done.
Was there some really rough transition periods in there where I was learning to step into all of who I am and dealing with looking at my old patterns and beliefs about myself? You BETCHA!! 😂 Holy smokes, yes. Is there still sometimes?? You BETCHA!! Holy smokes, yes.
But I got through it, and I continue to get through it, and the external results continue to mirror the new ways that I see and value myself.
I don’t know how this works. I don’t know why this works, but dears…. it WORKS. You don’t need to understand it. Just TRY IT. Try it and keep trying it. Surround yourself with other unicorns. Learn to spot the Red Bull’s.
That freedom-loving girl in you can make you rich – in ALL THE WAYS! Not just the money way… all the ways. You just have to DECIDE that’s what you want.
And if you’ve already decided, and you need more support on the path to commit to it, and you know you’re a unicorn who needs other unicorns in your life, then come on over, this might be just the thing you need »
In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this question to explore: what is one thing you loved as a little girl, that if you did or said now you would feel ashamed? Why? Who taught you that? Where did they learn it?
Have fun diving in! And I’ll see you in the course, or next week!
❤️
xo,
Sunni
P.S. If you’d like more gems like this to your inbox, you can get on my list and get my free How To Own Your Worth To Own Your Wealth Guidebook right here
[optin-monster-shortcode id=”nnuowpvzn5x7hgk9″]
