xo,
Sunni
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I
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There are two ways that I see people respond to pricing guilt:
1. Collapse: give in to the guilt and shame (internal and/or external) and lower their prices.
or
2. Puff Up: take on a crusader position and go into full inner and outer fight mode, defending their prices (and thus themselves from guilt and shame) by being a rebel with a cause.
I myself have become a full expert in BOTH of the above methods on my journey 😂😆, but I am here to propose a third option and middle way. Because the reality is both of the above options are rooted in a place of scarcity, guilt and shame. One is collapsing into it, and one is defending against it, but both are haunted by, and thus giving power to, guilt and shame.
If you are here in my community then you already know on some level that the energy you do anything with is the energy that is created (and thus perpetuated). In other words you can’t hustle your way into ease, and you can’t guilt, shame or defend your way into peace with yourself.
No matter how hard you try.
You see, both of these things give POWER to guilt and shame, and both of these things give power to scarcity. And that is NOT what you want to create and re-create. And the only way to do that is to stop giving it power with your belief in it.
Now read me here… it is not what you charge or how much that matters, but whether you collapse or puff-up. Because you can come from a place of love and abundance in you and charge pennies or many thousands of dollars. It is not the dollar amount, it is the energy you are choosing to nourish with whatever it is you charge.
If you think you’re asking too much, or someone tells you you are asking too much, and you believe it, then you are limiting the possibilities not just for you, but for them too, and for all of humanity.
They are essentially saying “there is not enough, there will never be enough, and you are not enough either (by being too much)” and you are essentially agreeing with them and that energy and then feeding it by collapsing into pleasing-mode to gain back their love and approval, or to relieve yourself of the guilt and shame you feel around asking, and around being perceived “as too much”— or the thousand other ways you’re judging yourself (and therefor others) instead of allowing yourself to face and feel that to the fullest, and release its power over you.
When the simple and plain fact is, it may (or may not) be too much for THEM, at this time. And that is not a flaw with them, or with you! They are not less for that, and neither are you. But we make eachother less, and we make eachother wrong when we’re carrying guilt and shame. It’s a self-protection measure, and it too, is nobody’s fault. It’s just how the ego works.
Puffing up is the same thing. It is fighting and defending against judgement because secretly you still carry a lot of guilt and shame, except instead of collapsing into it, you try to put on weapons and armor against it, and you get on a soap box and build a lot of evidence to support your worthy cause. This too is nobody’s fault, it is not better or worse, it is just a self protection measure. It’s just how the ego works. Like I said, I’ve done plenty of both of these methods, and I still have both voices in my head all the time.
But when you are AWARE of this fact and pattern, a new possibility is born. The possibility of seeing what’s happening and not acting on it.
To say: “oh hi scarcity. 👋 Hi fear. I see you. Thanks for your input. But I believe in abundance and a win win win for everyone. My intention here is love. If they think it’s too much, that’s okay, I respect that’s true for them and wish them nothing but the best. It doesn’t mean anything about me, or about them. It is just a simple mismatch when you take all the guilt and defending of identities out of the equation. They need something, and I need something, and both of us deserve to have that, but it may not be from eachother. I am grateful that my free sharing and presence is what served them enough to reach out to me in the first place, and I am grateful that they were able to help me further say yes to my yes, and let them say yes to THEIR yes (which is a no in this case). Because I know there is enough for everyone and that is the energy I’m going to bring, because that is what I am creating with my intention in this world. I will not be passing on this fear and lack, but thanks for weighing in!”
Money is an energy exchange just like EVERYTHING else, whatever emotions you attach to it you will perpetuate in yourself and others. If you guilt yourself and shame yourself you will create and pass on that guilt and shame, even when you think you’re being generous (by abandoning yourself and what you need).
If accessibility of prices is a concern and you want to help as many people as possible, as I do, I have a couple of suggestions to sit with in yourself:
1. What is it that makes you believe that lowering your prices is the best thing for the other person? Has it ever been the case that you sprung for something you desired that was a stretch and thus called in more money into your life to fill that gap, and even more? Why not allow them the same chance to discover their magic? Don’t hog all the fun to yourself. 😉
2. If you are in any kind of business in this world, you have many many things you do for free. Your posts, your newsletters, your insights, your creations and even if you do NONE of that, your mere PRESENCE out there being shared and offered, your courage to show up and share your heart and your skills… all being poured out and received by people 100% gratis. All of that is literally pro bono. Are you counting it?? And if they are contacting you it’s because they’ve benefited from that in some way! It literally doesn’t get more accessible than that. 🙂
3. When things have not been accessible to me, I have enjoyed putting those things on my dream list and setting my intention to receive the money I need to get or do that thing. Sometimes I may see the means manifest before my eyes, and thus grow further in my trust in my ability to do so (and share that with others – who then share that with others – and on and on it goes!). And other times the means does not manifest for that thing, but the thing manifests in a whole other way. And other times it just doesn’t manifest at all, in which case I know that it is just not the right timing right now. Knowing that as long as I still want it, it will come, just not on my ego’s timeline or in the way I think it should. But it will come, and I surrender to life’s greater intelligence.
It literally doesn’t matter what you price your stuff at, from the most expensive to the most cheap, no one gets to tell you how to do that… it matters the energy you do that with. Set your intention on love and abundance and a win win win for all involved and ask for what you want. Let go of people’s reactions and just deal with the reactions IN YOURSELF.
That is how you set us ALL free.
Ego’s games say someone always has to lose. Scarcity and fear says the same thing. But YOU, the true you, can say that everyone wins, and JUST by making that your intention you will begin to make that true. In ways that you will not always see, but set into motion nonetheless! You don’t have to know how. Just intend it, and let go.
I have to share this last little tid-bit for a laugh …
Me and Kenny were taking the RV back to storage the other day and I looked up the gas station nearby that had an RV dump station. When I did I saw some reviews of people griping because the gas station started charging $10 to dump instead of it being free. One mans review said “The fact that they would change this from free to $10 shows the greed of the owners of this market!!!”. I literally laughed out loud at the absurdity of the comment.
But at the same moment I had tremendous compassion for this mans painful view, and the pain that he then felt propelled to lash out onto others. I thought, “Wow. this is the gas station/market owners property. Of course they are charging, as they should! I wonder how this man would feel if people wanted to come dump their turd-pipes on his property for free?”
But this man has never even thought of that. It is not his fault, his consciousness has not seen that other view, he is locked into a story he has heard repeated by people around him since he was a child. And he is just repeating it completely unconsciously.
I have no doubt he would not allow people to dump their turd-pipes on his property for free and I am guessing he would have a lot to say about it and charge a lot more than $10. He points the finger at the other and calls them greedy, while he feels fully justified in his entitlement to dump turds for free.
This is what the unchecked ego/mind does. It accuses the other of doing the very thing it is doing in that moment. That man cannot see this, he has no awareness of this. It’s completely unconscious programming running the show. It’s an old pattern he’s simply repeating.
But when we’re aware of the pattern, we can begin to STEP OUT.
There are always going to be people who are that guy about your prices, no matter how little you charge. The key is, does it push your buttons? If it does, then that is your practice and your inner work to do. Otherwise you are enslaved to the judgements of others and will have to give your power away to people like that, and collapse or fight and defend all of your life.
And you weren’t born for that mess.
You were born to break the pattern and SHINE.
Besides, other people’s judgements are not even about you. They are about their own pain, which you cannot fix for them. But you can set yourself free from yours, which may inspire them to do the same.
and if you’d like some help with that, then you know where to find me »
