May 3, 2020

Fear Of Success


So this week we’re gonna look at a hidden money belief you may be harboring and not even know it.  Then we’re going to question this belief (in the style of ‘the work’ by Byron Katie), and then we’re going to turn that sucker around.


The belief:  “people who have a lot of money and success, will inevitably suffer tragic loss in their lives in order to ‘balance the scales’, because you can’t have it all”


OOF. Right? How horrible is that? But this belief has been hard wired into so many of us, whether we like it or not. We are taught there is a price to pay for success, and each of us has a different interpretation of what that price seems to be, but this is a very common one.


I remember distinctly having the idea when I was a child that we were somehow more “safe” from disease and death than other people because we were poor. This makes absolutely no logical sense, it’s completely ass-backwards, but I truly believed it. It was almost as if, because we didn’t have money, ‘god’ would cut us a break on the disease and death and loss.  🤯 🤯  🤯  (absurd I know)


So of course when I believe this line of thinking, and I believe I’m gonna get my “lessons” in life anyway, then I’d rather those lessons be in the loss or inability to keep money, than in the death and loss of people I love! And so I subconsciously sabotage and block more money from coming in.


What’s really important for you to understand though, is that this belief doesn’t live on a “logical” level,  you don’t THINK you believe this, it lives deep in the subconscious, but it is DRIVING THE BUS whether you fully recognize it or not. 


So let’s look at this one a little closer so we can set ourselves a little more free, shall we?


The belief:  “people who have a lot of money and success, will inevitably suffer tragic loss in their lives in order to ‘balance the scales’, because you can’t have it all” 


Is that true? I don’t know.


Can I ABSOLUTELY KNOW that it’s true? No. No I cannot. 


What happens when I believe this? How do I react?


I am in fear, deep subconscious fear of getting the success and money that I want, that’s what happens. Because somewhere in me I believe I have to TRADE my loved ones for it. Or trade their health. Or my health, or our lives. And because of that I subconsciously keep myself in a “victim” role and mentality to keep myself safe, and keep myself DOWN from success, which for me looks and sounds a lot like this: 


nothing ever works out for me… people don’t like me… other people get ahead and not us… this is never going to work for me… maybe them but not me… nobody wants what I have… I don’t need much really anyway… I’m happier with less… I just want love that’s all I need… I don’t need more than that… that kind of success is just for the lucky few… some people are just lucky… not me, not us… money just causes problems anyway… I should just give myself and my time away for free to help more people… I don’t need all that money really… nobody understands me… nobody gets it… nobody appreciates me… nobody hears me… nobody sees me… nobody wants me… I’ll never get ahead… if I get ahead it’ll just be taken away… I’m invisible… it’s too hard…” etc. etc. etc.

And those beliefs keep me stuck in a pattern and loop of getting JUST ENOUGH to get by and maybe even thrive and be in ‘feast’ mode sometimes, but then something “comes up” or a bunch of things come up, that wipes it all out and puts me back in famine mode — safe and sound where my subconscious is most familiar and cozy and feels at a safe enough distance from imminent destruction or death. Again – this is not on the level of CONSCIOUS thought, I am not sitting there thinking all this, and yet it’s there. This is the pattern that’s happening.


So who would I be if I did not believe this?


If I COULD NOT believe this? Well… it’s hard to even fathom! But I suppose it would be similar to who I am when I drink a glass of water and do not expect my loved ones to get sick and die because of it. Because I don’t have that belief about having WATER. Just about having money. I am totally at peace with drinking a glass of water, with having an abundance of water to pour from the tap on demand… with having plentiful enough water to bathe in and shower in and wash my babies and my bedding in. I do not fear punishment and retribution for this in the form of sickness or death. Somehow when I drink water the scales do not need to be balanced and bad things are not then suddenly hurtling through karmic space towards my life and family.


So I would be like that I suppose… like it was a non issue… I would let money in greater supply without deep down fearing I would be punished somehow for having more. Like how I don’t fear I’ll be punished for drinking a glass of water or eating a salad. It would feel completely natural, and good. No conflict.


It is important to note however, if you had been taught to believe there is a scarcity of water and it is NOT available to you, you may also believe that was “too good to be true” and you may also subconsciously fear some kind of karmic retribution for having it. For most of us, money is the thing we are taught is scarce, and the thing we will be punished for having too much of.


The Turn Aroundhere’s where we turn this belief around to the opposite, and find some ways that THAT statement could be just as true or truer than the original belief. The reason this is important, is so your subconscious can see some evidence, so that its conviction can be overturned in the court of your mind.


The first turn around to the opposite is: “People who have a lot of money and success, will NOT inevitably suffer tragic loss in their lives in order to balance the scales, because you CAN have it all.


And how might that be just as true or truer? Let me count the ways…


1. Well, it is more true in that people with money and success do actually see a lot of GIFTS and EASE and GAINS rather than suffering or loss, because of having access to resources, care and opportunities that would care for and help assist with any of the regular stuff like sickness, tragedy or death, that can happen to ANY & ALL HUMANS, despite our finances!


2.It could also be more true because I do know of and have seen a great many very wealthy and affluent people in the world who lived to be very old and were well and taken care of, and loved their families who were also alive and well, and had a good life. And again these people were human and had challenges, just like can happen to US ALL, despite our finances.


3.It could also be just as true or truer because HOW ABSURD AND ARROGANT AND RIDICULOUS is the ego story that would claim that someone’s life journey or death journey would have anything to do with ME and MY success??!!! It is  so typical of the ego to blame itself for such a thing, as if that persons or those peoples life was just a FOOTNOTE in the ego’s own story! What a load of hooey. A great tragedy in its own comedy. NO. It is nothing more than an absurd ego story to think that you could ‘cause’ someone’s sickness or death with your success or your failure. Each souls journey is wholly their own, and though we may not understand it, we can respect and trust it as we trust our own. (Don’t worry it’s not your fault that your ego does this, it’s just what ego’s do, it’s not you, it’s not the real you, it’s just a defense mechanism, that’s all)

4.It could be just as true or truer because people get sick and die sometimes,well, to be even more blunt, we all die eventually. We don’t get to know when. This is true whether you have bupkis in the bank or billions. We are all vulnerable. That’s the truth. But we do get to decide how we live and embrace our desires for what we want to have, and think ,and believe, and shoot for, as long as we’re alive. That goes for all of us!


Another turn around might be: “People who have a lot of money and success, will inevitably be GIVEN wonderful GIFTS in their lives to balance the scales, because you CAN have it all.”


And how that might be just as true or truer is:


1.Wealthy people DO inevitably receive great gifts in their lives, that come from being afforded those resources, and as a result their cup is full, and as that cup is full it spills over — which often looks like philanthropy and charity or community building, or opportunity creation that was born of having excess.

2.That philanthropy and charity then breeds change and creates opportunities for people who may have never had such opportunity or access to resources before, which inspires them to then open up new revenue streams for themselves, thus beginning to “balance the scales” if you want to believe in such a thing.

3.Also because having money and success will indeed bring a great many gifts of time, of freedom, or opportunity of choices, or resources for if/when challenging things DO happen, etc. And because, again – you can look around and see a lot of very wealthy people who lived to be old and gray and had a well lived life. People literally DO have it all. And the belief that you can’t be one of them is an ego defense story against success, and nothing more. There is no punishment for having it all. And there is no REWARD for NOT having it all, either.


And lastly, this one is going to be probably really triggering for many of you (including me) but I think we should still look at it. The last turn around might be: “poor people, people who don’t have a lot of money or success, will inevitably suffer tragic loss in their lives to balance the scales, because you can’t have it all.”


1.Ouch. Yikes. But yes, one way that could be as true or truer than the original statement is that yes, more often people who do not have money or access to resources are the most vulnerable to loss and sickness, and that is a very hard thing to look at. And a thing that needs to change!

2.As awful as it is, the truth is that when these losses are suffered and looked at, a “balancing of the scales” CAN and does begin to happen when more and more resourced people see this happening and can come together and stand up for systemic change to support affected peoples lives and create movements in that effort.

3.It could be just as true or truer because the “because you can’t have it all”  bit in this statement could mean that literally no ONE person or PEOPLES can “have it all” meaning have ALL the money, ALL the resources, etc. and that will never be the case… money will stay in circulation, continually, just as it always does, forever. The scales are forever being “balanced” if you care to believe in such a thing, no matter what humans currently seem to have the money. It is a flow and that flow can pour through anyone and everyone

4.As awful as it sounds, and I will use my own case here, that it could be as true or truer because being poor and seeing loss or tragedy in your life can really light a FIRE inside you to remember and to reclaim your inner power and to say “F-You!” to the idea that I am just a victim of circumstance and cannot change my story and my station or ‘destiny’ in life. And when that happens — again, a “balancing’ of the scales will happen if you care to believe in such a thing, by someone like me getting fired up to change my life, then doing so, and seeing it is possible, and then being determined as hell to lead a revolution for other people who wish to do the same! 



I personally do not believe in “balancing of the scales” theories, not in the way they’ve been used in our history anyway, but I’m just working with the minds stories and framework here, again, so that its conviction can be overturned.


I don’t know about you but this belief is looking pretty transparent at this point. It does NOT have the swagger it did before I started, not at ALL. It’s been busted. If all of these opposite statements can be JUST as true or even truer, then it doesn’t have a leg to stand on. And while my mind may not stop fearing things like human  impermanence, and vulnerability… it can at least stop attaching that to money as its reason to stay down, and not try.


My ultimate turn around for this statement, personally, is the new rule for my life that I’m choosing to write from the releasing of this old rule, and that is: “My success is a gift that is rewarded with life.”



I choose to know that my success is a gift not only to me, but to my entire world, because that gift pays forward in a thousand ways from that cup that runneth over. Ways that I will see personally, and ways that I will never see or know.



But I am responsible for the cup… this cup that is my life. And I DO choose to be a wealthy and successful woman, and I DO choose to “have it all”, because if ANYONE can, so can I.



Any ego story that says I am less special than anyone else (and therefor can’t have it all), is just an ego story that I am MORE special than anyone else, in disguise. Because otherwise, all things would be possible for me too. And they ARE.



I’m not special, I just know what I want. And I’ve decided that I’m gonna have it.

How about you?  Do you think you actually have the power to decide that? 
If you don’t, I invite you to my Feast or Famine No More Course & Membership, where we’ll work on that, and so much more, so you can be the wealthy woman you want to be too.



xo, ❤️💕



[optin-monster-shortcode id=”nnuowpvzn5x7hgk9″]