I don’t know about you, but I used to be someone who considered investing in personal growth a “waste” at best, and a “scam” at worst. I also used to be someone who considered investing in my ability to make, receive and allow more money to be a “scam”, and I looked at the teachers of it through that lens.
Now I see that view through a lens of compassion for myself.
Of course I would think it is a scam when I believed that that level of money was NOT available to me and never would be. Of course I would think personal development is a ‘waste’ when I think that I didn’t deserve time and space to nourish and heal my own soul.
Of course I did. And I see, and love myself when I needed to believe that, because I see how I thought that would keep me safe.
Safe from disappointment. Safe from rejection. Safe from the uncomfortable feelings of entering into the gap from where I was to where I wanted to be. Safe from having to hold that tension. Safe from what it brought up.
Eventually the pain of not having what I wanted became greater than the pain of staying where I was. I heard a quote the other day that really captured this: “pain pushes, until the vision pulls” (Michael Beckwith), and oh boy did that resonate.
Growing is our nature, and when we resist it, nature forces her hand. But when we heed the call, we’re assisted, and it’s a lot more gentle. We’re ALWAYS assisted, but sometimes the assistance feels painful, when I’m resisting the assistance that is being given, that is. 😆
Eventually the fire of my desire to move beyond “just getting by” (i.e. survival mode) began to burn brighter than the wet and heavy blanket of my fear and shame. And it was all that was required to take the next step.
I called this article money talks, because money has been “talking” to me all my life. But it took me awhile to hear what it was saying. And it took a lot longer to decipher what it was REALLY saying, apart from what I THOUGHT it was saying, and what I learned and absorbed from my world that money “means”.
So today I’m going to write a list of some of those things I learned and thought it meant, and then another list of what I NOW see it was REALLY saying to me, in the hope that it helps you to “hear” money differently too.
So here goes…
What I THOUGHT (learned and absorbed) money was saying to me all my life:
1. I am for other people, not for you and yours.
2. I am only for the lucky few.
3. I will never be for you, you don’t get to have me.
4. You will always struggle with me, just expect it.
5. There will never be enough of me, just expect it and deal.
6. Only people who already have me, can have more of me.
7. Only smarter, more talented and more well connected people have me.
8. Only certain people can have me, and it’s totally random, but it’s not you.
9. Stupid country bumpkin girls don’t get me.
10. Stupid country bumpkin girls who get pregnant at 19 don’t get me.
11. Smart city people in pantsuits get me, not you.
12. Fancy University educated super intellectual types get me, not you.
13. Pretty people, fancy people get me, not you.
14. People who’s parents had lots of me get me, not you.
15. Sensitive, over-emotional, nature-loving women don’t get me.
16. Freedom-loving, spiritual hippy-types don’t get me.
17. There is not enough of me to go around and never will be.
18. People who have me, make other people feel bad.
19. You don’t want people to feel bad, so you won’t have me.
20. You have to be a different person to have me.
21. People who have me are secretly bad or hiding something.
22. People who have me in spades are “not good people”.
23. If you want to stay good, you won’t have me.
24. If you have more of me, people won’t like you.
25. If you have more of me, people will talk behind your back.
26. If you have more of me, people will try to take advantage of you.
27. If you have more of me, you’ll die alone.
Holy shit, am I right?? And I wondered why I didn’t make more money. And this is only the tippy-top of the iceberg. I could go on and on! But I digress.
What I did not know then, that I DO know very clearly now, is that money was not saying ANY of these things to me. Nor was “god” or “life”. It was the people around me. Nothing more, and nothing less.
We absorb ideas and opinions of people around us as TRUTH when we are young and we don’t question it. And even when we do question it, it is still living in our being as a fundamental truth, when it is not. Because someone else’s fundamental truth is something entirely different!
Our beliefs are our lens. And our lens creates our experience. And our lens gets completely distorted based on what we’ve picked up.
This is NOT YOUR FAULT.
And it’s not anyone else’s fault either! They were just saying what was taught to them. They were just repeating what they learned from their experience. But the magic of life is we can CREATE A NEW EXPERIENCE.
Don’t believe thoughts shape your reality and experience? Did you know a study was conducted wherein 10 people with severe knee pain were checked in to get knee surgery. But in reality, only 2 of the people actually received knee surgery. For the other 8 patients, they simply put them under anesthesia, made an incision in their knee so it would look like surgery was done, and sewed it up.
And guess what? ALL 10 of the patients reported great improvement in their knee. Even though 8 of them had literally NOTHING done to their knee. Why?? Because of what they call the “placebo” effect. And all the placebo effect means is, mind over matter. It means they believed their knee was fixed, and so it was.
So, over the course of my life, and especially so the past 5 years, I have been performing money mindset surgery on myself. 😄
And here is what I now know that money is saying to me (revising the original statements above):
1. I am for you.
2. I am for everyone.
3. I will always be for you, and for everyone.
4. You do not need to struggle.
5. There is always enough of me (even when you temporarily can’t see it).
6. Everyone can have more of me.
7. To believe that some are more deserving or less deserving is a FARSE.
8. Your desire for me is your right to me, you’re the one.
9. “Stupid” is a painful judgement that comes from deeply insecure people, and ignorance. And country bumpkins DO get me, just look for examples.
10. Again “stupid” is a painful judgement it’s time to let go of. And country bumpkin girls who get knocked up at 19 DO get me. Obviously (look at you!!)
11. Smart city people in pantsuits get me, and SO DO YOU.
12. University educated super intellectual types get me, and SO CAN/DO YOU.
13. Pretty people, fancy people get me, and SO DO a million other “types” from the very opposite to everything in between! I do not discriminate.
14. People whose parents had lots of me get me, and people who grew up with nothing get me too. And everything in between! Is it easier to believe when you’ve had me all your life? Of course!! But it will not keep me from you if you so choose.
15. Sensitive, over-emotional, nature-loving women DO get me, and in fact have the potential to get me HUGE because of their ability to tap in to intuition. All they have to do is address their beliefs and level of deserving.
16. Freedom-loving, spiritual hippy-types DO get me. (ahem… ever heard of pot farmers? 😆 health food store starters? guru’s? famous musicians and artists? it’s all about their specific beliefs and feelings of worthiness)
17. There is more than enough to go around and always will be.
18. People who have me, make other people feel good too. In many ways, through many means (besides me).
19. You don’t want people to feel bad, so you WILL have me (so you have the time, resources and freedom to help more people, which you love to do and have since forever).
20. You have to be YOURSELF to have me. Well, you don’t have to, but you WANT to, and girl you always do get what you want eventually. 😉 lol
21. People who have me are secretly good and showing their true selves. This is JUST as true, every bit, and all you need to do to prove it is look around.
22. People who have me in spades ARE good people. Again, just look around. Make a list.
23. You will always be good. That’s who you are.
24. If you have more of me, people will like you and they will NOT like you too, just the exact same as it is right now. 😄 LOL
25. If you have more of me, people will talk behind your back. And if you have less of me people will talk behind your back. That’s what people do. It’s not your business. 😄
26. If you have more of me, people will try to take advantage of you, if you have LESS of me people will try to take advantage of you, again, that’s what people do. You don’t have to worry about that if you don’t let them. Besides, the opposite is just as true! People lift up rich people and people lift up poor people. People lift up people and they sometimes try to take advantage too, you get to decide what you allow.
27. If you have more of me, you’ll be surrounded in people who love you. If you have less of me, you will too. Again – you decide. Dying alone has nothing to do with money. Feeling alone has nothing to do with money. Your own sense of worthiness of love and trust does.
Money is a neutral party, that we project a lot of crap onto. Just like love and “god” and “life” and everything else. When we take a look at what we’re projecting, we can begin to change our view.
So how about you? What is money saying to YOU? And how can you begin to turn that around?
Happy hunting!
Love,
Sunni
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