I was listening to someone the other week on video and every part of me just lit from within. I exclaimed out loud, “YES!!! They are speaking my language!!!”
I felt like I had been living in a foreign land trying to speak a language I didn’t understand (but had learned to do well enough to get by) and then suddenly someone was there speaking my language, as clear as a bell in the night.
Then I thought… “Wait a minute… why am Inot speaking my language???”
The language that lights me up the most is one that most people don’t speak or understand in this world. The language of being a creator.
The world mostly speaks the language of being at the MERCY of a creator, (whether that’s science or god) and not a creator themselves.
So it pretty much feels like harassy to speak as if you have a say in what happens, a say in the direction of this dance with the divine.
To say that ‘your world is a mirror, and that you can use that mirror to see what you believe, and then adjust what you see by adjusting those beliefs’, (which is what I am always basically saying) can seem crazy and sometimes even really cruel.
So it is for those reasons that I have not “spoken my language” very clearly to the world because of this. I have instead tried to fragment pieces of it in with the more accepted narrative and language. But the result is a warbled message that is muddied with fear of rejection.
But here’s the thing that I think most people struggle with in the idea of being able to create your life the way you want and being a creator. It’s that they can’t help but notice they don’t have CONTROL over life!
And no, we do not have CONTROL in life, obviously! 😂 But we have CHOICE.
You could argue we don’t have choice either (because where did those choices/thoughts come from) but regardless of where they came from, choices affect your direction once they’re made. There is a difference between choice and control and that difference is: TRUST.
CONTROL is power-OVER things, situations, people and events, and it comes from a place of fear, and feeling like you’re on your own and cannot trust, so you need to make sure things go your way so you’ll be okay.
Whereas CHOICE is a decision, a preference, it is movement in your own direction, and it requires a certain amount of trust.
I think this is the main reason people struggle with the idea of being able to create a truly different life, because they don’t actually want to believe they’re creators deep down because that would mean wayyyyyyy too much f-ing responsibility is on their shoulders!
But that responsibility is NOT the same kind that we currently think of and have been taught in this world!
The way our current world views responsibility is as having CONTROL over yourself and life. And if you view it that way, of COURSE you don’t want to believe you’re a creator deep down, because that would mean you would have to do it all yourself, and you’d have to know HOW, and WHO, and WHAT, and all those details you don’t currently know! And it would limit your choices to WHAT you currently know, so you wouldn’t be able to move outside those current limitations without knowing how (and you clearly don’t currently know how).
But we do not have control. (again, obviously! 😆)
But we do have choice, and we can make our choices and trust in life/universe/divine to show us the way towards those choices.
That last part is SO KEY, because we are not going to accept responsibility for our power to create until we know we are not doing it all on our own, and CANNOT do it all on our own.
And what can help with THAT is realizing and fully recognizing that you have never done anything on your own, and you never will.
From the moment you were born, everything from air, water, sunlight, soil and gravity have been working for you around the clock, people and animals and plants and atoms and molecules have been working for you, around the clock. Insects and clouds and rain, drivers and checkers, and harvesters and stockers, cells and blood and bones and organs, the list goes on and on…
You’ve never done a thing on your own without this stunning cosmos assisting you at every step. Because you ARE THIS STUNNING COSMOS. In it, of it, as it.
And your mind doesn’t need to understand how all of that works or works for you, in order for it to work. It just does.
And it wants you to honor your hearts true choices. It wants you to listen to the things that light you up. It wants you to follow the threads of your aliveness. And to explore that aliveness wherever you choose to go and however you choose to express it. Because it’s you. Knowing itself as you.
When you deepen in that connection it allows you to relax and trust your own direction. And to not panic, or blame yourself or anything or anyone else when things come up that hurt. But to instead trust they are part of it. They are part of the path.
All this to say, I will be “speaking my own language” from now on.
And I will also be continuing to share the reasons why I wasn’t fully speaking my own language, in case they’re the reasons YOU are not speaking your own language too.