November 8, 2020

We Don’t Buy Things, We Buy Feelings

Did you know that there are people in the world who spend $250,000 for a few minutes in an anti-gravity chamber? It’s true. And while they do that, other people in the world spend $250,000 for a 2-week vacation, and other people spend $250,000 on a necklace, and other people spend $250,000 on a rug, and other people spend $250,000 on a house.


If this is triggering for you, stay with me…


The thing is, the person who’s dropping $250k for a few minutes in anti-gravity at a space center is probably spending an equivalent percentage of their income as someone who is dropping $250 to take their family to ride rollercoasters for a day. In other words, it’s all relative.


What is huge to one person, is pennies to the next, and vice versa. But no matter what they’re spending it on, or how much it costs, every single one of these people is buying a feeling, not a thing.


It doesn’t matter if you’re buying a new dress and a pair of shoes, or a faraway vacation, a meal, or a drink… people buy FEELINGS.


People invest in how they want to feel. Maybe they want to feel confident, or lighter of heart, maybe they want to feel laughter, or fun, or less stressed, or just more happy, or more free. There are a million reasons people buy things, and a million things people buy to FEEL those feelings, whether it’s a $2M picture of a potato (it happened!), to a pack of post-it notes, it is always a feeling they are buying.


In this way, all we are ever really doing is trading energy for experiences that we would like to have in our lives, and things we’d like to feel in our lives. And that is a beautiful thing!


The problem arises only in the JUDGEMENT of these things, by ourselves and other people, and the value that they have to each one of us.


CASE IN POINT: to some people, they would look at someone spending $250k on a few minutes in anti-gravity as a gigantic and frivolous waste of money on something so fleeting, and there are other people would look at the person spending $250 on rollercoasters and corndogs for the day and say the same thing. So too might someone say that about someone spending $2.50 at an arcade for a few minutes of SkiBall. Again, it is all absolutely relative, the value is in the eye of the beholder. It is theirs to decide on, and theirs to have and keep, cause it’s their life!


To the person who spent $250k for a few minutes, they probably feel it was well worth the cost for a time well spent enjoying a thrilling new experience. And the people who spent that on a vacation would feel the same, and the people who spent that for a day at the amusement park with the family would say the same, and the kid who spent $2.50 for a few minutes of Ski-Ball would say the same.


The reason I point this out is so that when it comes to your business, your prices, and your income, you can:


1.  See that there are realities all around you that are far different than yours, and all of them are nothing but a mindset shift away (and the work it takes to actually grow and change that mindset from what it has been).


2.  See that what you might be struggling to charge, is actually a total no brainer for someone else.


3.  See that what you might be dreaming of making in a year, someone else spends on a couple minutes of fun. And seeing that helps your brain stop seeing it as an impossible mountain when to others it’s just a molehill.



It is a really powerful practice to shift your perspective like this regularly. And to help you do this here’s an exercise I suggest:


1.  Write down a number you’d like to raise your prices to, or be paid, but haven’t received yet.


2.  Write down a bigger money goal like your dream monthly or annual income goal.


3.  Now take both of those numbers, and for each one write a list of at LEAST 10 things that other people might spend that SAME amount of money on, try using examples that seem kind of crazy, frivolous, or impossible to you (i.e. beyond your current spending reality).


4.  Now write down next to each of those things, what that thing probably makes someone FEEL. (if you’re not sure ask how it would make YOU feel)


5.  Now beneath that write down how what you do, sell or share makes people feel. And notice how those resultant feelings most likely match many or even all of the feelings you listed in step 4.


6.  BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY: Now look at that list of how what you do makes people feel, and ask yourself: do these feelings match how I want to feel in my body, soul, and business??



Often times we get so locked up in whether or not we, or something, or someone is “worth it” or not when really, people get to decide for themselves what is worth it to THEM, and it has to do with how they want to FEEL, not with you or who you are.


So the way to build an aligned business that is beneficial to EVERYONE is to simply shift your focus to how YOU want to feel in YOUR business!


Because as you do that more and more, you begin to exude that feeling through all you do and create, it is an energy that people will feel and pick up on, and then people who want to also feel that way will NATURALLY be attracted to you and what you do. Everything you create will be infused with that energy. They will feel that energy and they will buy it because we buy what we want to feel.


Maybe it’s that they want to feel supported. Maybe it’s that they want to feel free. Maybe it’s that they want to feel seen and heard. Maybe it’s that they want to feel important. Maybe it’s that they want to feel they matter. Maybe it’s that they want to feel confident. Maybe it’s that they want to feel valued. The options are endless but don’t focus on how they want to feel, focus on how YOU want to feel so that your work can align with what you want and your best-fit people can align with you.


The most important bit is of course that YOU will be happier and more fulfilled in everything you do when you do this, because you will be living out your truth.


The OLD way says you have to figure out what people want and give it to them to make money and to succeed at what you do, so that later on down the road after a lot of blood sweat, and tears you can maybe step back and enjoy the fruits.


The NEW way is you figure out what YOU want, and how YOU want to live, and you offer the gifts you have that make you feel that way, and the people who want the same thing are naturally attracted to you so that what you love most, pays most, and everything feels natural and easier. In the new way, nobody has to hustle or be someone they’re not to get ahead. They have to actually be MORE of who they are than ever before.


If you go about it by trying to create something that is “worth it” to a client avatar or something, you are likely going to create a lot of stress for yourself, you are going to feel a little lost and like you’re guessing half the time, not knowing what you or they really want, and in doing so attract a lot of stressed, lost people who don’t know what they really want!


But if you decide how YOU want to feel in your business, like perhaps more ease, freedom and joy, and then figure out what you’re doing in your business when you’re feeling that way, and do more of that, then those who are looking to feel that way too will recognize it right away like a beacon of light when they see you. Because you’ll be naturally embodying that, instead of trying to get someplace in your business in terms of success where you imagine that you will THEN be able to feel that way after you’ve met the goal.


How you get there is how you’ll arrive there. So make sure you’re choosing what you want to feel on the way, and make it your sole focus to embody that. So that what you’re building is what you actually want to live in, and not just another job you are enslaved to.


Does that mean it’s always going to look exactly like you planned or thought it would look, or that there won’t be twists and turns in your plans? Of course not! But as long as you’re always making decisions about your business from how you want to FEEL in your life and business, you will always come out on top, no matter what the practicalities end up looking like.


And if you don’t really believe that’s possible, and you want some help doing that, I’m your girl. Join me in my Feast or Famine No More Course where I’ll help you create more money, more time, and more freedom on your terms »