What You Look For, You Find.

There are very few things I know to be true in this life, but one of those things I know for absolutely sure beyond a shadow of a doubt is that:

what you look for, you find.

Meaning, when you start to focus on something, you suddenly start seeing it everywhere. The more you see it, the more you notice it, the more you notice it, the more it seems to show up in your life and awareness.

Like when your uncle Larry gets a red Mazda Miata (because he’s totally having a mid-life crisis) and you suddenly start seeing red Miata’s everywhere. Or when you notice a certain time on the clock, and then it seems like every time you look at a clock it says that same freakin’ time again.

Welp… there’s just one caveat.

The big stinking twist of the whole thing is that we tend to THINK we’re looking for one thing, when in reality we are totally unaware that we’re actually looking for something else. In fact, usually, we’re looking for the exact OPPOSITE of the thing we say we’re wanting.

And we’re finding it! (Queue the comedy wah-wahhhhhh sound effects)

Not sure what I mean? Here’s an example: let’s say someone named Cunni Shapman (no relation 😂) is looking to find more money, success, and freedom in her business while still leading a quiet, simple, ease-filled life with her husband who she absolutely loves and cherishes.

So according to convention she would be looking for those things she is wanting, and those things would start showing up everywhere in her life – just like freakin’ Mazda Miatas. Right??

Now let’s also say that somewhere in Cunni’s past, she experienced something that taught her that where there is money, success, or freedom, there will be a shit-ton of hard work, overwhelm, exhaustion, stress, trauma, life changes, person changes, divorce and/or disillusionment and disappointment.

But she’s still mostly unaware of this, she is mostly unaware of how she keeps noticing stories of successful business people being totally burnt out and overwhelmed, she keeps noticing more and more people doing personal growth and then getting divorced, she keeps “happening” to see movie and TV show plot lines where the money curses the people and rips the family apart, or causes the people to gain it all only to lose it all, and more.

And since she’s unaware that her brain is sitting up there cataloging more and more evidence of its greatest fears, she goes on trying to create these things she’s wanting to create with gusto — and wondering why the hell she’s feeling increasingly stressed out and anxious.

While her higher self is looking for evidence of her desire, her subconscious mind is looking for evidence of her fear. And unfortunately… her subconscious is about a thousand times more powerful. Its belief is there can be no love AND money. There can be no ease AND money. There can be no real freedom AND money/success. There can only be one or the other, and really you’ll just end up losing BOTH.

Is this true? No! But if she cherishes her loves, her family and her freedom above all, and she believes any one of those things is going to be lost or compromised by having money or success, her subconscious is going to be the friend that it is and protect her from that at all costs. It will block and not allow her to receive what she says she wants because it KNOWS she wants that love and freedom more and it THINKS it HAS to be a choice.

So what do you do about this then?!  How do you make sure the things you’re looking for and WANTING to find, you find? You’re in luck! Cause I have a boatload of suggestions:

1.  Start being aware of the stories you’re noticing. What are they evidence FOR or AGAINST?

2.  How are those stories related to your fears about what you want? What did YOU learn about people who get those things? What happens when you get that? Who might it hurt? What might you lose?

3.  Start RIGHT NOW building a written list of evidence to the OPPOSITE of your fears. ( So in this example it would be a list of people who have love AND money, who have successful businesses and pursue personal growth and are still married and have a family who still loves them. People with money who aren’t totally stressed out and overwhelmed. A list like that will be hard to find at first because your mind is dedicated to finding the opposite! But if you commit yourself to find that evidence… you will find it. More and more!)

4.   Join my Feast or Famine No More Course & Membership! What you didn’t think I was seriously not going to toot my own horn here did you? You will need people who will normalize your desires and who will help you know that you do not have to CHOOSE one or the other, you can have both, and you will!

5.  Get professional help or therapy of some kind. I cannot more highly recommend it! There are MANY modalities of therapy, from traditional to EFT tapping (I have a FANTASTIC referral for this if you want one!) to energetic healing to massage and certain types of hypnosis. But just getting to the stories that ARE running under there from your past is absolutely vital, otherwise, you won’t know they’re running your show!

6.  Stop trying to Positive-Thought-Meem and Affirmation your way through this. Honey, seriously, trust me. It won’t work. It’s like trying to push a boulder with a toothpick. ADD the positive thoughts and affirmations, they’re gems! Just not on their own. Add them, absolutely sweet pea, but bring a shovel too. 😉 You’ve got to dig into the feels, they hold the real gems!

But some of the magic you create, won’t feel so flippin’ magical. It won’t FEEL magical, but it is. It is magically making your hidden 💩 appear, so you can clear it.

So you can have what you really really want, without living in fear of losing it, without being up at night sweating how you’ll keep it and keep what you love, so you can trust yourself, and love yourself… the way you deserve to be loved.

And if you need help finding what you’re really looking for, and you need help finding what’s in the way, you know where to find me. 😉

As for Cunni Shapman, her story continues to defy her deeply held fears and previously limiting beliefs, in ways that sometimes still totally floor her. Don’t ask me how I know—a little birdie told me.

xo,
Sunni