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If there’s one thing I have learned it’s that things will begin to get real shaky real quick when I have placed my sense of self worth or value outside of me.
Suddenly the structures of my life that seem to contain my value will start rumbling, and swaying, like city buildings in an earthquake. In my minds eye this looks like a holographic cityscape, where each building represents a place I’ve given my power away without realizing it. A place where I believe that THING (person, place, entity, situation or event) is what makes me valuable.
Things like approval, other peoples validation, clients, customers, success, money, business, my work, parents, friends, social groups, systems of support, etc. etc.
So when those buildings start rattling you feel your entire ground rattling too, for a moment you think there is nothing to stand on, nothing stable at all to be found.
But all that’s really happened is you’ve lost your center. You put your “ground” of being into THOSE THINGS. And your reality is letting you know “this doesn’t feel safe to me”. “This feels f-ing dangerous to me as a matter of fact. I do not like this feeling AT ALL.”
Now, some would say that things like this are to remind you of the groundlessness and to remind you of the total uncertainty and impermanence of all things and to not get too attached.
But I would say that it’s to remind you of the unshakeable stability and absolute certainty beneath it all.
And there’s a difference there, do you feel it?
I would say that it’s your VERY SELF calling yourself back to yourself, and the only TRUE and REAL ground you’ve ever known.
When things start shaking what happens to me is this:
- The fear and the terror of the loss of my value (through those people/things/jobs/events/money) comes up, the loss of that safety/security (through those people/things) comes up.
- When that happens it allows me to access: “Who am I without this? Without them?” etc.
- Which allows me to access: WHO I AM. It allows me to remember it’s just me and god just like it’s always been. (life/source/universe/divine/etc.) 😭🥹❤️💗
- Which allows me to remember that every miracle of my life has flown from that place. 🥹❤️💗
- Which reminds me that place is always there, beneath any rubble of any incident, it is the foundation beneath everything. And I touch back into the foundation in that moment.
- That foundation is my strength, my stability, my unshakable ground of being. It is not going anywhere, it never has, it never will. And everything I know and love has sprung from it. I trust it. Absolutely. Even when other parts of me are running around freaking the f out. 😂
- It’s who I really am. I come back to who I am. And then everything stops shaking. Because my sense of value has returned to it’s authentic home, where it really lives. Irremovable. Home in me.
This process of things getting real shaky allows me to more easily access the part of me who is totally unshakable. Which is what I want. I want to feel that calm and stable presence. That presence of plenty that I know is my one and only source and always has been.
But what I REALLY want now is to access that part of me more direct. I wrote a post about this on Instagram this week (you can read that here), but the things is, when things get real shaky like that, it is actually a way that we are allowing ourselves to access that deeper love and trust, one that we normally don’t dare claim!
It’s not until we’re backed into a corner that we will then allow ourselves the grace of it.
But you can now access that unshakeable love and trust direct. Perhaps just by realizing that anything less than that true ground of your being-ness feels shaky as hell and always will so you’re moving out of those areas and back to your center for good. Or perhaps by just recognizing those little tiny quakes as soon as they start happening and returning to your true and only unmoving stability as soon as you notice. Or perhaps by asking yourself…
Who am I without all this?? (these people, their approval, jobs, success, money, etc. etc. etc.) Who am I without all these things I think make me valuable, safe, and stable?
Whatever answer that is, that is the ground that you want to know. That is the ground you want to kiss and to lay yourself on, and to feel the strength and solidity of.
Because what happens then is all your success, work, money, etc. starts to flow from THAT GROUND, instead of from holograms of what you think you’re supposed to be, or supposed to do. And you stop feeling as scared of whatever it is you create, because you know where it came from, and understand that it came from YOU. Not the other way around.
The things of your life come FROM you, not to you. They materialize out of what you ARE. And in that essential you-ness from which all things have sprung there is an infinite supply. And, sure, your animal self might forget it (regularly!) 😂😅 but the ground of you knows, and it holds all other parts of you steady… safe… always.
Start to notice where you feel this quiet strength, this quiet steadiness. Where does it live in you? Begin to choose to live in it more often. Begin removing the middle man that once granted you access to live in that part of you, and see that it was you living in that part of you that created that created that middle man in the first place!
If that’s confusing, here’s an example: you believing in yourself enough to start a job, business, relationship, money, etc. and making some kind of intention or move towards that based on your own ground of belief and of wanting, is what resulted in other people, situations, jobs, business, relationships, money, validation, kind words, etc. etc. And now you might be using them as the middle man but they wouldn’t even be there without you and what you did for yourself from the beginning. What you thought, felt, intended or actioned, from the beginning. They were a result of you, you are not a result of them. Yet it’s so easy to get that all mixed up.
So when you feel things get wobbly, just remind yourself where it all came from.
And if you don’t feel that ground of love and trust or stability ever, or you don’t have access to that at all… then I am here to let you know that it’s in there and you just need to find it, and nurture it and tend to it more to expand it’s presence in you and your life (if that’s what you want). It’s always there, but sometimes it is very inaccessible feeling because of the emotions and survival patterns running over top.
If you feel like that, and are looking for suggestions, I recommend The Az, Moth & Moon or Alice’s Flowers, or Nowbit’s (my newest release) all of them are designed to help you open and sustain access to this part of you, and all of them will grow that field exponentially over time which is why I designed them to deliver that way.
And if you DO feel access to that part of you, like me, and you know that part of you exists but you don’t let yourself access it until you get totally cornered, or it just gets so easily CLOUDED by doubt and fear and events, then I have something in the works coming soon that is going to help us all deepen in that place and expand it even more, so stay tuned for that. But really, all of my work is designed to support you in reconnecting to that original love and trust, so just pick what you like!
Alright sweet pea’s, much love, and feel for that ground.
xo,
Sunni
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