It just so happens that this week’s Sunday post falls directly on my birthday, and as I sat down to write this an alert came up on my phone from my Journal App saying.. “revisit your entry from 3 years ago today.”
So I did… hesitantly at first, because honestly I’m in my feels today, and I didn’t want anything adding to the mix. But that little voice inside said ‘click it’, so I did.
The entry was written 3 years ago today, while I was in midair on a flight across the country. Hillary had just lost and you-know-who had just won, I was in the feels that day too… but mostly I was hopeful.
Hopeful because I was in motion, having just done something I’d never done before (invested SERIOUSLY in my business and therefore, myself), and being on my way to an event tied to that investment, and having just totally restructured my business model and the way that I worked to what I WANTED instead of what I “thought I could maybe do.” or “make-work”.
It was radical, and I thought it was a pipe dream, but I stuck to my vision and trusted myself, and I stood with myself in that space, and said no to anything that was not in line with that vision, and waited for my yeses.
The girl on the plane was both heartbroken and in fear AND full of hope and courage. She was both shaking at the knees AND chock-full of fire and magic.
Earlier that year, she had written an intentions list on a piece of paper, there were quite a few things on the list, but the top 3 were: to create total stability and plenty in her business income (with a certain goal in mind), to more of what she loved and less of what she didn’t in her work, and to have even greater closeness and intimacy with her husband…
and boy did she not know what was coming.
What the girl on the plane didn’t know is that every one of those dreams would come true, and then some. That she would nearly quadruple her income and create an absolutely steady annual income like clockwork, that WEEK. And that that would continue for years after. And that her relationship would bloom in all-new ways that were more than she even dared hope for and didn’t even know how to ask for at the time (because she had thought it was good and solid before all this!)
She didn’t know her current “good enough” could get better, but when she dared to believe it could and asked (by simply writing it down and following the breadcrumbs that appeared on her path) her “better” was born, and birthed a whole new level of dreams.
The girl on the plane was simultaneously experiencing the loss of a dream (the first woman president) and the hope and fulfillment of a dream (her own vision as a woman, trying to break through her own glass ceiling, in her own power). She was looking at the evidence around her in doubt, but also in hope.
She had no idea the gifts that were coming her way. No idea the miracles that would happen in her world that week, that month, or in these past few years.
This brought me great comfort today, as I sit in a very similar feeling spot. A spot full of all NEW intentions, dreams, and visions. Ones that I have no evidence of coming true, but that I know in my heart to follow anyway… just as she did.
If she had the courage to go in the direction of her calling with no reason to believe so except her gut… then so can I.
I can be both/and.
Right here right now, I have big visions, and I also have big doubts. I have big courage, and I also have big fear. I have big joy, and I also have big sadness, but I choose to lean in the direction of my love…
because it steered me right that day, and I know it always will.
So today, on my birthday, I want to give myself this gift. And I want to let myself fully receive it. This gift of knowing that I CAN trust myself, and I CAN trust my vision, and I CAN trust my heart and my direction. And I want to give YOU that gift TOO.
Wherever you are, and whatever you’re standing in, please know that you are the Queen of your nation and the Captain of your ship. You lead your sovereign nation and you sail your own direction—because no one in this WORLD knows the shores of your dreams the way YOU do.
Whatever it is you want my love,
Don’t stop until you find it. It is yours. It was the minute it came to your mind and heart. Stay the course.
You have so totally got this.
All my love,
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