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In my entrepreneurial journey, I have noticed that humans tend to pass on the pressure they feel to other humans to try to solve and release that pressure. Humans tend to do this with urgency tactics. This can be in business and sales, but it happens just as much in personal life as it does there.
When we are feeling pressured, we attempt to pass on that pressure.
Just as when we are feeling uncomfortable emotions, we attempt to pass those on as well. To relieve the pressure. And it works, which is why people do it. Suddenly you’re not holding it all alone anymore. Suddenly it’s not all your fault or responsibility, and there IS relief in that mode of operation, which again, is why humans do it. There is also a connection that can result, which is a benefit, but the quality of that kind of connection is not the best, obviously.
It’s a connection filled with the expectation that the other person changes or does something or takes some action that will make you happier. And the problem with that, for me personally, is that it puts your power outside of you and would have you waiting on others to change before you can be happier or feel more comfortable.
And I am not waiting on that. I take my happiness, fulfillment, and success into my own hands.
I have made it my personal intention to not pass on the pressure in my business or life, which doesn’t mean I am always successful at that (I am human too; I often fail at things I try), but I do continue with my intention to do better, not because I’m trying to be some saint (definitely I am not), but because I just don’t like the way that feels in my body.
But I also don’t like the way that it feels in my body to try to pretend I don’t care about the things I want or need or don’t feel urgency sometimes. Or that I don’t want connection and support. Those are real things that I want to honor too.
We are wired to believe we need and require urgency, pressure, and stress to accomplish things in this world. We are taught that from DAY 1. The most popular line in history that is widely celebrated around the world is: “blood, sweat & tears,” right?
You need to bleed and sweat and cry to get things done, that is the subconscious text. And it doesn’t matter how peace-loving and easy-going you perceive yourself; this pressure still sometimes catches you because it lives in the collective.
The thing is, it’s TRUE that humans are motivated to move with cut-off times and deadlines and things. There’s a reason why marketing experts say it works, and it’s part of the ways we function in non-business realms as well, deadlines. It’s not WRONG, it’s not BAD, it’s just the way it is currently for much of the world, AND… you have a choice.
So applying pressure or passing on pressure to buyers or to your loved ones or students, or wherever else people do that, is not ‘wrong’. It’s an optional way of doing things. So the only thing you really have to do is decide: How YOU want to do things?
I’ll be the first to admit I have been kind of on a crusade against these tactics, but recently it’s become more neutral for me. I get the reason I was doing that is because I had already made my choice and I was just trying to justify it because I didn’t fully believe I could make that choice and still succeed. I didn’t fully believe my choice was ‘right’. I was still trying to make it right or wrong instead of just recognizing it was my choice.
My choice is I am not going to pass on that pressure, in my business or otherwise. Because sure, pressure might ‘help’ someone to get off the fence or make a decision or not delay or not just sit in ‘this is always available so why should I do anything’ (as marketers say), sure it has a function that logically makes things work in this world, but then… it’s never-ending.
It’s just passing on the pressure and the pressure being passed on to me over and over and over again in a loop. And then I have to carry that feeling in my body, and do I WANT that kind of connection with my clients, customers, relationships, or otherwise? No. I don’t. Not for me.
You know I THOUGHT that feeling in my body I felt when passing on the pressure is discomfort because I deeply recognize that pressure is going to instantly come right back to me when I do that, and that is part of it, but deeper than that it’s that that feeling is letting me know that I am imagining my power outside of me and I always feel deeply nervous and scared and uncomfortable when I feel or perceive my power is outside me.
So yes, passing on the pressure ‘works’. But it doesn’t work for me, because I don’t want that kind of relationship with life or anyone or anything in it. And I get to decide how I relate to and perceive my life, my relationships, and my business. I am a creator. I am the writer of my story, and the liver of that story, what I see reflects back to me.
I just wanted to share that in case it resonates with any of you. I see the function of deadlines and things. I understand that those things will continue to be needed and used throughout the world, AND I still get to make my own choices about how I live, and so do you.
For me, in my business, I realize I could use those pressure tactics, but then how would that feel to me? That would immediately make me feel pressured because I had just pressured someone and thus taken that responsibility on to resolve their feeling of pressure! No thanks! I want people to feel welcomed, excited, in love with the work, in love with their own journey, inspired, hopeful, not pressured.
The most important part of this, however, is the realization of the ways that I pressure myself and internalize that external pressure and load that onto myself in ways that are no longer supportive to me. Maybe they were at one point, was I was just trying to survive, but it’s time for an upgrade, and that upgrade is ease and mutual respect and allowing.
So if you would like to sell your work in a way that feels peaceful in your body and soul, My Work Sells Itself Course is available now and will be for the foreseeable future. She’s loaded with gems all about this to help you stop pressuring yourself and/or feeling like you have to use pressure to sell instead of making the selling of your work just another form of your art. No Cut Off Times! No Need to Act Now! This Will NOT ‘Save Your Life’! You Do Not Need This! You Will Be 100% Fine Without This! It Will Not Solve All Your Problems! 😂 🤣 LOL
But if it feels inspiring or exciting to explore and will add to or support your already existing choice to succeed at your dreams, then I welcome you. ❤️💗💕
P.S. If you didn’t get the word about my new Art Of Expansion Mini-Course, check it out right here! a simple short video course to watch on your own time and use to create some of your own magic 👉 The Art Of Expansion: Reality Creation Basics For Magical Beings
xo,
Sunni
