November 24, 2019

The Myth of Certainty

If you are anything like me (and the rest of the human population of the earth), there are going to be days where you literally question EVERYTHING.


I mean not everything, but everything about yourself and your life. And if you’re extra intense (raises hand) you will also question existence itself and spiral into an existential dilemma at 11:30 in the morning on a Thursday. 😃


And the reason this can feel so excruciating when you are in it — and the reason it is particularly bad around your business, work or purpose — is because there is this myth floating around out there that there are people who are just absolutely SURE at ALL TIMES that they are on the right path.


Like they have known it since they were 5 years old and they have never had a day in their life that they weren’t absolutely sure of what they wanted to do, and who they were, and what their place in the world was, and where they were supposed to be.


This myth is perpetuated by stories like: “I just knew I wanted to be a doctor since I was very little.” OR “I knew I wanted to act and sing since the time I was 3 years old doing videos for my parents”.


But my loves… these are sound bites. They are tiny snippets of a truth that is real, but they are not telling the interviewer about that time when they had night sweats every day for a week when they were 27, or when someone said something that sent them into a spiral of self-doubt and self-loathing. They are not telling the interviewer about that time last week when they felt burnt out and tired and had a shit day and felt like they wanted to quit right then and there and move off-the-grid.


They are not telling you the million-and-one moments where they were in their feels and moving through something, or just had freaking PMS and wanted to throw in the towel and jump ship.


We are not talking about those moments because they’re not so glamorous and they don’t make for inspirational folklore, but they’re REAL. They’re real for EVERYONE, no matter their level of success or achievement. No matter how absolutely, positively CERTAIN they were about who they are and what they want to do in the world 1 week, or 1 minute before those moments come crashing down.


Uncertainty and not being sure of yourself and your direction is absolutely NORMAL. And if you’re expecting yourself to get to a certain point where that never happens again… just stop. 


STOP, because you’re setting yourself up to think you’re a crazy person when it happens again, and you’re NOT.


You can’t and will never be absolutely forever certain because you are not a static thing. You are motion itself, energy and matter shifting and changing by the second. That doesn’t mean you’re going to change your mind all the time, but it’s the nature of your being to say “wait a sec, who am I, and what do I want, and what am I doing here, and where do I want to go now, and who do I want to be with again?” on a regular basis.


This happens with our bodies, with our minds, with our work, with our relationships, with our spirituality, with our creativity and our thinking and everything else… but it’s nothing to fear.


Those people who seem SO SURE, I guarantee you they wake up at least once a month saying “what’s it all for anyway?!”. Or at the very least, “what the hell am I doing with all this again?” And if they don’t, they’re probably a robot.


So the next time you feel this way and you’re feeling like a crazy person (like I was literally one hour ago in the shower), know that this is a NORMAL passing phase, and it will either bring about some change or it will re-commit you to your truth in a stronger way, because you passed through to the other side of the fear instead of checking out (like it probably wanted you to).


In the meantime here are some helpful things you can ask and/or say to yourself when it’s happening:

1. What has changed since I felt totally certain?

2. Was there something someone said to me that triggered this?

3. Was there something someone did that triggered this?

4.. Is it nearing that time of the month? (this is a joke, but also hormones are REAL peeps)

5.. Have I had enough sleep? water?

6. How long has it been since I’ve taken a walk or been outside?

7. Is there a pillow nearby I can scream into?

8. Have I put any music on in the last day or two? (put some on)

9. Who do I trust who really SEE’s me and GETS me who I can vent about this to? (who won’t doubt me too, and send me further spiraling into an abyss)

10. Or, as Glennon Doyle says, just “quit for today”. If you feel like quitting, quit. And start again tomorrow. 😉

11. Say to that voice in the head that’s questioning you, “I don’t know. Great question. Let me get back to you tomorrow or the next day when you’re not mid-tantrum and we can talk about this.


You are doing so good, love-bug. You are doing SO GOOD. You are enough. You always have been, and you always will be, and you’re going to make whatever dreams you have come true because that is what you were born to do. 


It’s scary because you’re not used to feeling safe. You’re not used to feeling like enough, but you ARE. 


So keep going. 


You are a freakin’ goddamn miracle, you know that?


❤️ xo,


P.S. If you’d like more gems like this to your inbox, you can get on my list and get my free 👉  How To Own Your Worth To Own Your Wealth Guidebook right here 👈



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