I had a really interesting memory in a deep meditation and energy clearing I was doing recently that I wanted to share with you in case you can find any pieces of you who relate to this story in some way…
When I was a teenager, my beloved grandma gave me this absolutely beautiful patchwork velvet quilt.
It was all kinds of different patches and colors and patterns but all complimentary to each other, and velvety and sooooo luscious and beautiful. I freaking LOVED that thing so much!
As soon as I saw it in the meditation I understood why it had popped up, and the rest of the information I needed about that downloaded right behind the image of it.
You see, my beloved grandma had found this quilt in a dumpster or next to a dumpster near her work, because someone had thrown it away. And she saw the value in it, reclaimed it from the bin, washed it, and steamed it, and restored it to its original treasured state.
But there was also this belief underneath there that was something like: “Rich people just throw perfectly beautiful stuff away, rich people don’t appreciate anything the way we do, we treasure the gems that are thrown away and discarded. We are the people that can value what other people see as worthless. Because we are and feel like that too, we are the thrown away and discarded and overlooked ones. We are the ones who’s value is not seen by most. We are the under-appreciated people in the world that support those rich people, who just throw away, discard and undervalue, perfectly beautiful, wonderful, amazing things.”
And our family took great pride in this. It made us feel special. It gave us back some of the value that feeling overlooked and undervalued had taken away, and it gave us a new sense of value… the ones who see and appreciate the unappreciated things.
Now that was a very helpful belief for us at that time! Very helpful indeed. Because it served us to soften the deep pain and wounds of exclusion or deficit and scarcity that we were feeling. And gave us a sense of value and belonging and a treasured identity to inhabit.
But the thing is, that belief and identity is not serving me anymore. In fact, it is holding me back from myself and my joy.
Because with that belief comes this deeper subconscious belief that if I am valued and treasured by MANY, if lots of people actually DO SEE ME, and VALUE me, and pay for my work, then I will no longer be “that special gem” in the trash bin.
And I will no longer be treasured by those who ALSO carry this belief and identity, in fact… I will then become THEIR trash. Just like those privileged people seemed to be to my beloved grandma. And that part of me wants her grandma to love her, even more than she wants more people to buy and love her work. 💔❤️😭
But what I realized that day is that my grandma DOES love me. She always did, and she does from the other side now. And I know she was part of sending me this vision so that I could understand that misunderstanding in a brand new way.
She wants me to see now that, like the quilt, I have thrown the exquisite treasure of me into the trash many times. I have tried to give away something that is actually so precious and valuable. And she SEES that value, and she wants to reclaim it from the bin, wash it up (clear it of these old debris), and restore me to my original treasured state. 😭❤️💗💞 She wants me to thrive, and to be so loved, just as she loved me and she loved that quilt that she gave to me. 😭❤️💗💞
Thank you grandma. I love you soooooo much. 💗💖❤️🙏✨✨
I don’t have that quilt anymore (but GAWD I wish I did!), I loved that thing so much I loved it ragged, into total disintegration. 😂😂😂 Just like I am going to love this old patterning and message into total disintegration too. 😉 ✨ We hold these beliefs and identities because they help us, they serve us, and it is okay to let them go when we realize they are no longer serving where we are now and what we are trying to create now.
If you resonate with this, it is just one gem that is bubbling up in me now because of my brand new Yummy Money Honey process and my Moth & Moon Oracleworkings each day. I can’t wait to hear what gets created, shifts, and comes up for you all as we go through these journeys together. If you’re feeling called, right now you can bundle them both together for a deep discount, add either one to your cart to see the bundle price. Moth & Moon begins May 1st! I am sooooo freaking excited about it! And Yummy Money Honey is a 4 day somatic / energetic experience that begins delivering to you straight away. 💗💞