I spoke with a coach once who told me that unconditional love doesn’t exist (in humans). That is where me and her parted ways.
I get it, what she meant is humans have conditions and expectations and that’s just the way it is, and so unconditional love is not a reality in this world. I get it, but I don’t agree. And perhaps this is where me and others part ways. And that’s okay.
I fully respect that opinion and that that is a truth for others, but it’s not mytruth. And I get to discover, claim and live my own truths. And so do you, whatever those are for you. (if you’re wondering what this has to do with money and your dreams for your life, I get to that, stay with me)
My truths are not other peoples truths. My experiences are not other peoples experiences. And I do not need to convince anybody or make anybody see mine in order for me to be me and stand in my truth.
The old model of life is: agreement or death. Which means we need to fight to make ourselves right so we’re not wrong, or fight to make others wrong, so we can be right.
I can be right for myself, and only myself, and let others do the same for them. I don’t need others agreement to live my truths, and any idea that I do is just scarcity thinking.
I not only believe in unconditional love, I KNOW unconditional love, from a place deep within myself that cannot be explained or relayed, only experienced directly. I have also experienced plenty of conditional love (and dished it out). And even love that says it is unconditional but clearly has a lot of conditions. And I know the difference now when I see it.
Unconditional love (to me) means loving what IS, instead of what is expected. It is an all consuming presence that to me feels like overflowing gratitude and joy for life itself. AS life itself. Even with all the stuff the mind would call ugly and imperfect and messy and horrible. Because from that place you see that it’s all fleeting expressions, dances in the play of life.
Unconditional love doesn’t mean that preferences, opinions, expectations and boundaries all vanish. All those things are part of what IS. And unconditional love witnesses and honors what is. It doesn’t “like it” it doesn’t “hate it” it just allows it to be what it is, as its very self.
This is SO radically simple that it seems overly complicated. But it isn’t. It’s just a total lack of resistance to the flow of life… even the lack of resistance to RESISTANCE! When that fight stops – in my experience – peace and a feeling of (sometimes quiet and sometimes overflowing) gratitude springs up from that well. Because in the moment you touch that, you stop BECOMING for a moment, and you notice your BEING. Here, now.
That kind of love is not like most human love, no. But unconditional love absolutely exists in this world. It is here under everything all the time. It just gets clouded over with the play of individuality and mind, and that is completely FINE and obviously meant to be, cause here it is.
And yet… this love is here in the background always, and though we experience its contrast daily, we also experience its truth.
The air you breathe has no conditions you must meet, nor does the water in your glass, nor does the earth beneath your feet and the gravity that holds you to it. The sunshine and the rain will pour down upon your face no matter who you are or what you’ve done. Humans don’t need to believe in that kind of love for it to be true for them, and we humans give this kind of love to eachother ALL the time in countless tiny and massive ways.
The secret of unconditional love is that the more you recognize it and touch its infinite presence inside of you, the more you will experience it and naturally give it. Because you won’t even ‘give it’. You will just BE it. And by being it, it is naturally shared. Like the sun, the rain, the air, and the earth.
It emerges from within and begins with unconditional love for all of you, in whatever form you appear to be in now. And it is effortlessly shared from that place of being lived in more and more. Not by force or will, but by opening. From the inside out.
But here’s the thing I want to share with you about all this: most of us have been made to believe that unconditional love is all well and good but has nothing to do with money, security, or life creation and needs to be set aside when it comes to those things as utterly useless (and foolish) when it comes to those things. That those things are about cold hard facts and that’s just the way it is.
Well yah… that’s the way it is.
If that’s the way you make it.
That’s the way it’s been, but that doesn’t mean it should be perpetuated. All manner of horrors have been “the way it is”, so “the way it is” is no kind of excuse to keep things as they are.
There are some who have learned the secrets of unconditional love, and the immense power of it that is BEYOND any and all “cold hard facts”.
So for me… if I’m gonna hedge my bets… I put all my bets on love. How could I not when I’ve seen its power in every area of my life??
It took me a long time to let love be in charge of my finances and practicalities too, it took me a long time to trust that, and I’m still working on it! And it’s still scary every time. But the more I do so, the more evidence of its power I see and feel.
I share my own experience so that IF it calls to you, you can lean in that direction too. Knowing you’re not alone and you’re not crazy. You are on the leading edge of the new paradigm and reality we are entering into as humans. One of and/both instead of either/or. One of mutual respect and thriving in all new ways and means.
Some people might say it’s dangerous to encourage people to trust in that kind of love. I personally think it’s dangerous not to.
If you’d like some help and ongoing support with thriving in all new ways and means, we do that every month of the year in my Feast or Famine No More Course & Membership »
What do you believe about unconditional love? Have you experienced it inside yourself or from another? Would you like to experience more of it? What areas of your life do you believe you can’t apply love to? What would you do differently if you knew you were unconditionally loved and supported by life itself? See what comes up.
It just might set you free.