xo,
Sunni
Have you ever felt absolutely compelled to buy a certain thing, upgrade a thing, or make a leap with money, but judged yourself as stupid, irresponsible, impractical, shallow or materialistic for doing so?
I have felt this too. And often times I would not understand WHY this expenditure felt REALLY important to me but it just did. I just knew it was the right thing for me, but I had no explanation for that feeling.
It was deeper than just the thing, but that felt crazy to say or feel. Because we are taught that money is not spiritual, and that materials things aren’t meaningful, that they are shallow and you are shallow for wanting them.
That is not true of course, it is old religious garbage about the glory of self sacrifice and struggle. In reality EVERYTHING is “spiritual”, because “spirit” (energy, consciousness, the universe, god, etc.) is literally ALL things and EVERYthing.
But I have come to see that these monetary and material purchases (that I always felt so called to stretch into but judged myself for) were actually deep spiritual training all along. Because following these smaller seeming calls to these smaller seeming things has really been the following of my soul’s greater calling the whole time.
Here’s why: when you do that kind of stretching, what happens is that you start to figure out that you have more power to create your reality than you previously thought you did.
For many years I thought it was totally insignificant that I would want a certain car, a certain piece of clothing, a certain thing for my house, a certain trip, a certain place I wanted to stay, and that I would just decide (no matter how nervous I was) to go ahead and make the leap for that thing, even though it was outside of my financial comfort zone, knowing that by doing so I would be creating a new container for money to flow into, and inviting more of it in my life.
I didn’t fully understand I was doing that then though, this was before I taught money mindset or knew what it was even, or that it was a thing that came naturally to me. I didn’t have any idea that it was part of my purpose and highest calling in this life. So I didn’t honor the power of these things for a long time, and I judged myself for it.
But then one day it hit me like a whisper from the divine… “wax on, wax off”. My soul-self and guides are funny like that. As soon as I heard it, I understood.
“Of course!!” I laughed, “all of these financial stretches, these seemingly ‘not spiritual’ or ‘not meaningful’ or ‘not deep’ things were just like the Karate Kid the whole time! Mr. Miyagi has him doing all these seemingly “not karate” things the whole movie, and the kid keeps questioning him and getting pissed and wanting to get to his purpose and do karate things! Thinking that he has him doing all this stuff that is completely useless and unrelated to Karate. And he doesn’t understand until the end of the movie that all those ‘non-karate’ things WERE karate things the whole time! And they all came together to flow into the perfect sequence of events that led to his victory and overcoming of his demons (as represented by the bad Karate guys).”
This is our training.
When you do things like that, you are flexing your muscles of remembrance. Remembrance that you are not limited, that you are free, that you have the power, that you are the creator. You are unlearning your set-point limitations in this world and you are stretching into new ones.
I have done that so many times in my life, quibbled over something being more than I could afford, hemmed and hawed and then in the end went ahead and did it anyway, and somehow it all worked out fine. There were times it didn’t immediately work out fine too, but I was still and always okay, and eventually worked out fine.
I realized that when I expected to have to go into debt for what I wanted, that’s exactly what I had to do. And years later when I shifted that expectation to not have to go into debt for what I wanted, that happened too. Both things were a gift, because they were teaching me about my power all along. I was learning, I was training…
Wax on, wax off. Paint the fence.
Those little leaps became bigger and bigger. And I became more and more comfortable making them, because I was more and more in trust with myself that I could do it. And now, here I am doing it in all new ways.
Are there times when I feel like I’m on the floor, broken and sweating with an evil Sensei screaming: “finish him!” above me? You betcha. But just like Daniel-son I get up into crane position to kick the face of my fears and doubts once more.
And because I have the courage to do that, many more women all over the world will be given silent permission to heal their shame and guilt around money and to claim their power and abundance, and when they do so, SOOOO many more people are helped in turn, and benefit from that flow. And round and round it goes.
So don’t you be judging yourself for your seemingly insignificant wants and desires, your little financial leaps. Because they are holy. You know those things don’t complete you, you just want to see what you can do. Keep pushing those limits. Because that’s how you master them all.
Speaking of mastering your limits, my Feast or Famine No More Course is like Karate for your business and bank account, where we wax on, wax off our way to all our dreams come true » (no beach bonfire parties or ass kickings required)
