When It Feels Like You’re Going Backwards

So here’s a little secret you may not know: every single time I have propelled forward in a big way towards a big goal in my life, it was proceeded with a period of what looked and felt like going backwards.

Every. Single. Time.

Now I’m not making a belief out of this, but something like this may be happening to you on your way to all your dreams, and the reason for this is-life is making space for what you want.

Case in point: my WORST year ever in my business immediately preceded my BEST year ever in business. And when I decided to hit my next big goal a couple years later, I experienced snags and pitfalls that made me doubt myself and everything I was doing all over again!

I lost things and money and I went through another round of muck that I thoroughly resisted because I was like “holy-shit-not-again-NO!-I-just-got-done-with-this-shit?!” You know… your standard healing phase resistance. 🙈🙉💩😆

But not long after, what was lost was restored, except this time in FAR greater supply, and not only that but with FAR greater EASE and JOY than it had been before!

This never ceases to amaze me.

And yet, every time it happens I think “Op! this is the time where it really IS just going backwards, and I really AM NOT gonna be okay, and I really AM a damn fool for believing in this shit!!”

But every time, I stay the course and things work out even BETTER than I imagined they could.

I heard it said somewhere: “… You are holding onto scraps because you think that’s all you can have or are worthy of… but if you let them go, there is a feast waiting for you.” 😭😭😭❤️

I put this quote on my desktop as a reminder during those times. Because when I heard it, I immediately knew it was true. True in my belly. True in my bones.

Sometimes life (god/universe) has to pry our white-knuckle grip open because we’re holding on so damn tight to what we don’t really want anymore, that it can’t deliver what we do want.

We do this, of course, because we’re scared to fucking death what will happen if we let it go. Scared we can’t really trust life. Scared we can’t really trust ourselves.

So life helps you out. It makes space. It tosses your friggin’ salad for awhile so you can see all that you need to see, hear all that you need to hear, and GET what you need to GET to become this next version of you.

But here’s the thing… people talk about becoming somethingmore, as if you’re turning into another person or are going to become someone else.

It’s the OPPOSITE.

You were born like that. A bright perfect star. All that’s happening is you’re taking off the armor you’ve built up.

You’re not adding. You’re subtracting all the shit you thought you had to do, and the ways you thought you had to BE in order to be worthy.

But you were born worthy. That doesn’t move. It’s still right there in you, and always will be. In times like these, space is being made, shackles are being removed — because otherwise, you might get what you want, but you’ll find a clever way to push it down the crapper.

We don’t let in what we don’t feel we deserve. So life forces us to work on our worthiness first. That way when it DOES come in… you’ll let it. ❤️

All this to say… 
trust the process darlin’.

Trust the process, because it’s the DELIVERY process. The delivery of all you are wanting. Stay with it. Stay with YOU.

You so totally got this.

And life’s totally got you.
And I’m here too.

Your friend on the path,
xo
Sunni